Week 9: Inductive Bible Study

"A voice says, 'Cry out.' 

And I said, 'What shall I cry?'

'All men are like grass, 

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. 

The grass withers and the flowers fall, 

because the breath of the Lord blows on them. 

Surely the people are grass. 

The grass withers and the flowers fall, 

but the word of our God stands forever.'"

- Isaiah 40:6-8 (NIV)

"For he says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.' It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort,

but on God's mercy... "One of you will say to me: 'Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?' But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?"' Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"

- Romans 9:15,16,19-21 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

I find it very interesting that a week with the teaching being one that is more-so academic than emotional can turn out to be a week that still has quite an emotional impact. I find it even more interesting that this emotional impact is one that is stronger than most of the others I've had during weeks that were actually centered around emotional topics. The best thing I can say about that is how one cannot attain knowledge of God and of His Word without being struck in the soul and heart with revelation; the more I learn about God the more I change. Sometimes (more times than not) however, this change is near impossible to notice and the change is not welcome, such was the case this week. I'll first give the academic portion of the week and then give the emotional impact.

Our speaker this week was a man by the name of Steve McCormick, and his topic was on Inductive Bible Study. I was extremely excited for this week as I have been growing more and more in love with reading the Bible and simply learning all there is to learn. Whether they be historical events, genealogies, poetry, or deep topics, I've been getting more and more excited about reading it all and discovering for myself (not by myself, assistance from the Holy Spirit is mandatory I've learned by now) what they mean and how that is supposed to change my life. Steve definitely supplied what I was looking for with much information and examples. He started by explaining what Inductive Bible Study even means. He contrasted it with deductive Bible study, which is one has  a specific conclusion they want to reach, and they go to the Bible to find information that supports that conclusion, which can be very dangerous if not done correctly. Far too often people, myself included, will take verses out of context to support what they say, and the fact of the matter is that virtually any conclusion can be reached by taking verses out of context. Peter warns us of people who do that and what it can cause if we ourselves do it by first talking about Paul's letters:

"His [Paul's] letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do other Scriptures, to their own destruction."

- II Peter 3:16b (emphasis mine)

Now, I am not trying to say that deductive Bible study is a corrupt way of studying the Bible, so long as it is done in the correct way and within context. Now to define inductive Bible study; it is basically the opposite of deductive Bible study, so it is you reading the Bible and accumulating information, followed by making conclusions based off of what you just studied. 

Steve also gave us examples of how he studies, and that is pretty much verse by verse, but before that, he acquires background knowledge of what he is reading. This background knowledge involves the culture, the author, the setting, and basically anything else that is relevant to the passage. The importance of this is that with background knowledge comes a deeper understanding and appreciation for the message being presented, and you feel like you have a new-found and deeper understanding of what was written. For even more background information, concordances are used to read and attempt to understand the original words used in the books of the Bible; some very interesting and cool discoveries have been made from this studying. 

Steve then showed us how he will read small passages and draw observations and ask questions about things he read, very specific things, followed by attempting to answer those questions. He emphasized how it is more than alright to ask questions that you cannot answer at that time, because perhaps later on you will come upon some new information you've studied that can answer that question. He then said that after you make these observations of what the text literally says, he makes interpretations as to what it means. The final step then is finding out how to make what you studied applicable to your life. This part he told us time and time again is perhaps the most crucial because it is the point of the study. It is not mere knowledge that you are trying to achieve. You are trying to achieve a totally changed life from that knowledge. He gave the following passage to emphasize his point:

"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life."

- John 5:39,40 (NIV)

John speaks of how the Scriptures all point to Jesus, yet we do not go to Jesus even though we study these very Scriptures. I found this lesson to be very applicable to my life and it has made me be very diligent on asking the Holy Spirit to anoint the time I spend studying the Bible and for Him to reveal to me what He has for me to learn. Now onto the emotional portion.

Last Friday, the 16th, I went with some others to help some local food banks receive financial and food donations, and on the way back we passed a hospital. For some reason, looking at that hospital got me thinking of how I had really wanted to be a doctor and was looking forward to pursuing it after YWAM, until God told me of his other plans for me to be a Pastor. I was filled with anger as I thought about the whole series of events that had caused this change, and I then did the thing that guarantees a bad time and started comparing my predicament to others'. I looked at some people whose desires matched those of God's and were able to pursue careers they really wanted to while still falling in line with the will of God, and I was livid at the apparent unfairness of the entire situation. 

This past Monday, the 19th, we had our morning worship at 8:30, but for some reason I was really not in the mood and could not get myself to join in. I discovered I had been battling a change God was bringing to my life, a change that involved me letting go of the material things I had a bond to. For me, these material things involved video games, particular movies, particular TV shows, particular music, and various other habits I had. God had been bringing up this material issue to me within the past few days, it's hard for me to pinpoint when this conviction originated, and it had been eating at me more and more, which brought me to the Monday morning worship. I was angry again and felt defeated and stuck. God brought it to my attention just how strong this bond really was, and it was far stronger than I had thought. During the worship time I got my journal and wrote down all that was in my head. I ended the journal writing about how I needed a new heart of flesh because my current heart was one of stone. I truly felt that way, and I still do. I am praying continually for this new heart, because I can't live the rest of my life wrestling with these material desires.

Finally, on Wednesday, the 21st, we concluded our last class session with Steve by looking at the end of the book of John at the conversation between Jesus and Peter. Peter had denied Jesus three times earlier in the book, and now Jesus was asking Peter if he loved him three times. By looking at this conversation, you cannot really see the significance of what is being said, but by looking at the Greek words used originally, it becomes visible. Jesus asks Peter the first two times if he loved him in the sense of a self-sacrificial love ("agape" is the Greek word used), and Peter replies by saying he loves him in the sense of a brother or a friend ("phileo" is used here). On the third time, Jesus comes down to Peter's level and asks him if he even loves him as a friend (using "phileo"), where Peter replies that yes, he does love him that way. Jesus had been wanting Peter to love him and he loved Peter, but Peter was not at that level yet. The passage continues:

"'I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.' Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, 'Follow me!' Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them... When Peter saw him, he asked, 'Lord, what about him?' Jesus answered, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.'"

- John 21:18-20a,21,22 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

When Steve read this aloud in class, I was struck. I saw clear as day that this passage was about what I was doing. Jesus told Peter that as he grew older and more mature, he would be lead down a path he did not want to go and do things he didn't necessarily want to do. This is like me in how I'm being lead down a path I have not ever particularly desired to follow as God is maturing me more and more. Peter replies by comparing himself to others, specifically John. I did just this as well by looking at others who didn't have to change their particular career choice to follow God's will. Jesus then replies with pretty much a smack in the face to Peter asking, "What is that to you?" I take these words spoken by Jesus to be parallel with the passage I quoted in the beginning of this post from Romans, where we are the clay and God is the potter, and we have no right in questioning the potter as to what he is doing. From reading this passage I realized how similar Peter and I were, and I realized that by getting mad at God for the predicament he had been putting me in, I had not been self-sacrificially loving Him just as Peter said he wasn't as well. As you can see, God opened by eyes wide and showed me just what I had been doing. From this, I now feel convicted to inductively study the books of I and II Peter as well as other passages talking about Peter, just to see what he did with his life after this conversation with God to look for what I am to do as well. I'm quite excited about it, and I am also expecting to be enlightened and humbled in the process.

After the class on Wednesday we were dismissed for Thanksgiving break, which has been fantastic. I have yet to start my study of Peter, but I am looking forward to it, and I ask for prayer as I dive into it and wait on the Holy Spirit to teach me and give me a new heart so I may better serve and glorify Him.

Weeks 7 & 8: The Fear of the Lord and Transformation

"The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare."
- Psalm 25:14, 15 (NIV)

This week we were finally able to return to normalcy by spending it back in Arkansas at the base. For the past two weeks we had either been camping or traveling for hours on end, so being in a familiar place was much appreciated. Our topic for this week was on the Fear of the Lord and our speaker was a lady by the name of Dawn Borchers. Dawn was a lady in her 50's and single, and not the type of person I was expecting. I'm not sure what type of person I was expecting when I heard those things about her, but regardless I was pleasantly surprised to have her as our speaker. She was a strong speaker, very open and honest with her walk with God and how she'd changed and how she's still changing to this day. Furthermore, I was very excited for the topic she was going to be presenting as I had never had a firm understanding of what it meant to fear the Lord. I was hoping I would be able to really understand what it meant to do such a thing and what it would look like in my life as well, and I was not let down by Dawn.

The biggest thing I felt I learned from that week was the simple realization that fearing the Lord did not mean being afraid of Him. It wasn't even that difficult of a statement to establish either as it is quite blatantly expressed in the Bible:

"When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, 'Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.' Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be will you to keep you from sinning.'"
Exodus 20:18-20 (NIV)

This was taught to us on the first day, and I was already taken aback because I had always thought having fear of the Lord was, well, fearing Him. After hearing this I knew I was in for a treat the rest of the week as to figuring out what fearing the Lord was like, and it was a treat. Here is a list of some key things I learned this week:

- According to Psalm 25:14, we find that the Lord is intimate (confides, is a friend, counsels, trusts) with those who fear Him, and we know that while you can love literally anybody that you want, you cannot have an intimate relationship with anyone as that requires a mutual desire to do so.

- We have a hard time desiring this intimacy with God because with intimacy comes vulnerability and lots of trust, and especially with intimacy with God comes a lack of faith in results because of how He is not visible, and it also causes one to be afraid of losing control of our own life; a valid fear I have had to embrace in past weeks.

- Fearing the Lord means giving God his proper place by standing in awe, giving Him praise, honor, reverance, glory, and worship. Verses supporting this are Psalm 33:8, 22: 23, 89:6, 7, Malachi 2:5, and Revelation 15:4.

- Proverbs 9:10 shows how the fear of the Lord is wisdom; it is knowledge of the Holy One.

- We grow in the fear of the Lord by realizing that it is our choice, by being honest with God as to where we our, by simply asking Him for it, by being diligent and studying His word, and by dealing with sin in our lives.

- Dealing with sin involves confessing the sin, repenting from the sin, renouncing the sin, and by seeking restitution

I somewhat felt on a high all week as God revealed Himself to me more and more and let me experience Him more and more.

Friday night we had the very first annual YWAM Ozarks Talent Night, which was a good ol' time watching people make a fool of themselves and whatnot, but Friday had something else in store for me as well. Friday morning I had started to feel somewhat ill. I was starting to have a fever as well as a cough and a small headache. It wasn't very comfortable, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't function. Sleeping that evening however, was downright awful. I woke up perhaps at least every hour from either coughing so much or being blazing hot under my comforter. The next morning I felt far worse than the day before and didn't have much willpower to do anything really (the reason this blog is a week late!). That night was even worse than the one before, and the next one even more worse. Sunday I finally took my temperature and found out I had a temperature of 102.4 degrees; I wasn't just imagining this fever. By Monday morning I felt the worse I had ever from a lack of sleep, intense fever, headache, shortness of breath, coughing, and stomach pains - I was a mess.

That morning just so happened to be the same day that we were leaving to go on a camping/climbing trip for a few days with our speaker for the week, John Ray. I told staff I could not make it on the trip, at least not on the first day, for fear of what camping in the cold would do to my state of being, especially with the fever. They agreed with me and I stayed back. Later in the day I finally went to the doctor and found out my temperature had increased to 104 degrees and I was later diagnosed with Bacterial Pneumonia, I wasn't quite expecting that but I suppose it made sense with my shortness of breath and cough. They gave me a shot in my hip (I'm not sure why they say hip, they mean to say upper-buttocks I'm sure, because that's where I got my shot), gave me a couple prescriptions for the pneumonia and for sleeping at night, and told me to come back the next couple of days for more hip (butt) shots. Within an hour of my shot I felt my fever sweating away and energy flowing back into my body. The next day my temperature died down to 98.2 and I was feeling great. The next few days I continued to heal and on Wednesday evening, the rest of the school returned from camping/climbing and we were re-united. It had been an uneventful few days and I was glad to see activity back on the campus. Thursday morning I left with them to go to Fayetteville, about an hour or so north of Ozark and meet John Ray there. He gave us a lesson on Thursday, my first (and only, really) lesson from him throughout the week.

He talked to us about Transformation, and what that really means. He gave the illustration, that I really appreciated, that transformation was not supposed to be viewed as a bad person becoming good, but rather as a dead man becoming alive. He talked further about how transformation would change our sense of truth (becoming wise), goodness (becoming just), and beauty (becoming free). There was particular emphasis on the latter on how this would come from by practicing hospitality. I valued what he said and I was distraught that I was unable to benefit from his previous lessons.

That evening we went further north to Springdale and visited a youth group for primarily college students and took part in their service. We had worship followed by a couple of volunteers from our DTS giving their testimonies and how the DTS had been a part of that testimony. I was one of the volunteers. We were told to keep it short to five minutes, and I don't think I went on extremely long, but I know I went over five minutes. It wasn't because I didn't know what to say, rather I knew exactly what I wanted to say, it was that I simply enjoyed it quite a bit. I got up there and felt more comfortable than I had in the past when I'd spoken, and I had a good time. I hadn't intended to make people laugh, but it happened regardless, and I just went along with it. I knew that it was not because of me that I enjoyed it and I know it wasn't because of me that the people enjoyed it, I knew that it was totally the Holy Spirit, and I was quite alright with that. That night really helped me feel better about God's calling for me to be a Pastor, and I still get afraid of the thought of it, but I can see how God is slowly but surely molding me into that type of person, and I hope I embrace it and let Him mold me.

Week 6: Finish the Task

"And this gospel of the kingdom will be preadched in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."

- Matthew 24:14 (NIV)

We got up at 4:45 in the morning, packed our stuff into the trailer, squished into two 12-passenger vans and left our base in Ozark, Arkansas. Our destination? Cincinnati, Ohio, 12 hours away. What was in Ohio? Finish the Task Conference, A conference put on by YWAM centered on fulfilling The Great Commission and how to go about doing that. With hundreds of students and staff from about ten different YWAM bases across the nation, it was a good time. The conference was held at White Oak Christian Church, with the different bases staying in different locations. Most YWAM bases were staying on gym or sanctuary floors in churches, while others were lucky enough to be able to stay in some apartments owned by other churches; we were among the lucky ones. We were spoiled with two rooms, each with four triple bunks and a living room for sleeping in, along with a shower.

Our daily schedule would be getting up at 6:30, leave the apartment at 7 to make it to breakfast at the church at 7:30. Our first meeting was at 8:30 which consisted of worship (amazing worship I should add), intercession of various kinds for different specific missions, and a teaching by Dan Baumann. Dan is an author and missionary, most famous for his time in Iran when he was imprisoned for 9 weeks, which was written about in his book, Imprisoned in Iran. This would go until 12:30 when we would have lunch, followed by either breakout sessions or a community outreach at 2:00. The breakout sessions were hour-long classes where we were taught about various things pertaining to missions, with two of these on Monday and two on Wednesday. The four that I went to were about Church Planting Movements, Universalism, Muslim Culture, and one was an open panel of missionaries that we were able to question and talk with. On Tuesday during this time we had a time to just spend with our base and process what we had been learning thus far, because by that time we had already felt piled on with information. And on Thursday, we had Community Outreach. For my specific outreach, I went with a group of people to a church and helped them with what they needed. My specific job included picking up pieces of logs so they could be cut, and using a chainsaw to slice up larger logs. This time went on until dinner at 5:30, followed by our evening meeting at 7:00. The evening meeting followed a similar itinerary as the morning meeting did, except with a different speaker, this being Danny Lehmann, a well-known Christian author. This evening meeting would go until 9:00-9:30, when we would return to the apartment and go to bed. It was a packed schedule, but it was full of good stuff, good fellowship, and good times.

It’s difficult to give a summary of what was taught to us this week since we had several speakers going over many different topics, but the best summary I could give would be sampling restating the title of the conference. Finish the Task. There are so many people out there who have never heard the gospel, either because their society prohibits it or because no missionaries have made the effort to bring it to them. Either way, we need to do something about it. This does not mean, however, that we are all to storm the airports and head for the isolated, the hidden, the dangerous, and the forsaken with no training, no knowledge of the area, and, perhaps worst of all, no calling. The message definitely struck a few heart chords as I felt for these people who had never had the privilege of knowing Jesus and having a relationship with Him. I felt particularly stronger towards people in the Himalayas after they showed us a video (shown here) of some of the unreached people living up there. I’ve started to feel strongly that the people in the Himalayas will be a part of my future, I’m not sure exactly how, but I know God will show me. Other various things I learned are shown below:

-  God is both task- and people-oriented

- The Great Commission is a command to be obeyed

- If you want to be fruitful, just stay connected to Jesus and the fruit will take care of itself. If you focus on being fruitful, however, you will not have much luck

- Our passion is not solely based on emotion, it is based on what Jesus did on the cross and who God is. Although our emotions may vary constantly, our passion should be continually growing

- We are to be like a thermostat, not a thermometer (change the people around you, don't be changed by them)

- When it comes to showing people Christ, it is better to win a friendship than win an argument

After the week spent in Cincinnati, we left Friday morning for Manchester, Kentucky, the City of Hope. It received this title back in 2004. Before then, the town and surrounding county had been controlled completely by drugs, particularly painkillers as it was called the “Painkiller county of America.” The police were corrupt, officials were as well, and there were dealers everywhere. One particular dealer was so successful that he would make an average of $5 million a year. The average cost it would be for people to live the drug lifestyle here in Manchester was $60,000+ a year, where the average income was $12,000, so along with the drugs came stealing and even killings. One person was dying a week because of drug-related problems. Finally, people began to react and want to put a stop to it. So all the pastors from the area met together and talked and prayed intensely about their town’s situation, so they organized a march. Thousands of church-goers gathered and marched for a mile and a half to the park to have a rally against the drug problem in their town. The impact was tremendous. After that, arrests increased by 300% and the amount of deaths related to drugs are virtually non-existent. That march was 8 years ago, and the town of Manchester knows that it is still not perfect and still has some giants to conquer, but they are a city of hope and will be able to take on those giants with God’s help. 

We visited this church and talked to some of the pastors that were in charge of the march and rally and the passion they had for their city was very apparent as they could not stop talking about the amazing things God had being doing in their city and how much grace was given to them. They told us about a Christian rehab center about 16 miles from the town that they had started a while back called Chad’s Hope (shown below). This rehab wasn’t for specifically men with drug problems or alcoholic problems or what have you, but basically men with problems in general, problems that needed the grace of God to be solved for good. The amazing thing about Chad’s Hope is that it received $2.5 million from the government to be established. As far as I know, it is the only totally Christian organization receiving any assistance from the government; a true work of God. We visited Chad’s Hope and talked to and prayed for the men currently taking part in the program. These men told us heartbreaking stories, but really focused their testimonies on God making them new men. Go God.

This week also gave an ample supply of confirmation towards God wanting me to be a pastor. One thought that had been circling through my head was how I have always thought of myself as a poor public speaker and poor at explaining things. While my friends disagreed with me on that point, they also pointed out that even if it were the case, that hadn’t stopped God from appointing others who felt the same way. It’s how God rolls. One significant experience I had this week happened during the last worship session of the conference. I had been having a frustrating time throughout the week trying to participate in worship. Throughout the whole DTS I had been able to worship without problem of feeling like I was actually worshipping God, but for some reason I hadn’t been feeling the fire inside of me strongly at all in the beginning of the week. On Thursday morning I had finally realized I was letting many distractions get to me and my mind was wondering a lot when I should have been keeping my gaze focused on God, and I felt awful about it. I apologized to God and asked for forgiveness repeatedly during the worship. That evening, during the worship, I felt the fire come back and I couldn’t help but kneel while worshipping. As I was kneeling, a random girl came up to me and started praying for me, that I would be a powerful light for God and repeated the phrase, “Forgiven, Mighty Warrior.” I knew she was talking about God forgiving me for my lack of focus. She also told me how God had been telling her to pray for me, and she said that if I start kneeling, then she’d start praying for me. Sure enough, I started kneeling. After she had finished praying, one of the students from my DTS prayed for me as well. She, too, prayed that I be a powerful light and that I would be mighty. What’s more is that when I finally got back to the base in Ozark, I had some mail from my mother, one piece of which was from her bible study. This particular bible study was from the night before I had heard the call from God, and the first thing it mentioned was how God is raising “mighty warriors.” The redundancy of these words is not a coincidence; I am fully aware and I love how God is making all of this known to me. 

There are many other instances that point towards me being a pastor in the future, and it’s getting to the point now where I cannot deny God’s participation in showing me what He has planned for me. No matter how scared I may be and no matter how much I may not want it to happen I cannot ignore how many signs God has given me, and I cannot help but get excited that He is showing me my place in His kingdom and the mission He has given me to bring Him glory wherever I go. I’m excited as I’m noticing these signs more and more and I can’t wait for the next one to be brought to me. This life is an exciting life, and I’m blessed by the grace of God to be able to live it.

Week 5: Spiritual Warfare

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
I Peter 5:10 (NIV)

Richland Creek

This week we spent camping at Richland Creek in the Ozarks National Forest with YWAM Madison's Rescue Ops DTS, totaling around 50 people. We also brought along our speaker for a couple days, Kevin Rusack, with the topic "Spiritual Warfare". Kevin was only taught us on Tuesday and Wednesday, leaving Thursday morning, which you'll understand why later. If I could take one thing out of the teaching we received for those two days, it would be the magnitude at which our actions affect the spiritual realm and how we do make a difference in the power the Enemy has. I know that statement sounds vague, but it really stood out to me as a mere human that I could make a difference through praying, worshiping, and preaching the Word. A more extended list of things that stood out to me follows:

- Spiritual Warfare is not simply a "prayer prayed" or a "demon rebuked", rather it is a lifestyle

- The two extremes of Spiritual War is over-emphasis and under-emphasis (believing that demons are a part of all bad activity or that the Enemy isn't really there and can be ignored; both of which are not helpful)

- We should be aware but not impressed of the Devil's power

- ADD MORE

Besides the lessons Kevin gave us, we had camp activities as well. We split all of the students up into 4 groups, each with members from YWAM Ozarks and Madison, with which we did the activities. We learned about building shelters, starting fires with flint and magnesium, purifying water, handling medical situations, and being able to navigate around with a map and compass. We also went for a small hike to see a couple waterfalls, one of which was Twin Falls (shown below).

Twin Falls

Those events were during the afternoons of Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday morning we had our Solo time, which, if you remember from my last backpacking trip, is a 2.5 hour time span of us each going out into nature by ourselves and spending time with God in nature. After a bit of wandering downstream, I found a little strip of water that I sat by for my Solo (shown below). During the Solo, I finished up I Kings, which I had been reading through on my own time. I spent a bit more time looking over I Peter 5:10 as well as well as II Corinthians 4:16-18, but more on that later.

And then Thursday afternoon came along. We were informed during lunch that we would be packing up camp and departing for a new campsite, but there was a catch. We would be hiking out with just our teams, with tarps for shelter instead of tents, without a set trail to follow, and with only flint and magnesium to start a fire. We had a leader, navigator, and radio operator assigned for each team, the navigator given a map showing where we would be hiking to and staying the night. My team's hiking trail went from the camp to a road several miles (through brush and hills) away, where we would be picked up the following day at noon. I was stoked (and naive). We packed up all we could, had our gear checked, got our food for the next day, and left camp around 2:45pm. Our designation followed the same trail we hiked to Twin Falls (which took about an hour) and once we got there we bush-wacked uphill for about twice the distance it took us to get to Twin Falls. Eventually we came to a random very eery-looking house surrounded by fog and barb-wired fences. We knew we were close to the road at this point, but couldn't find a way around the house in the direction we were going, so we decided to follow a trail that was inside the barb-wired fence, but not necessarily on the property, and then we came up to another house that we knew was on the road; we weren't sure if the trail we were following would bring us to the road, so we quickly went under another barb-wired fence, over a wooden fence, and walked down the very long dirt driveway until we got past the gate and got on the road.

The first eery house

Thank you to the Steen's for giving us a shortcut to the road!

 We got to the road at about 6:30, very content because we knew that we were where we needed to be and didn't have to do any hiking in the morning. Our next thing to do was find a place to set up shelter for the night, so we walked down a bit and found a fallen tree a little ways into the forest that looked ideal to lay some tarps over, which is just what we did. We put a tarp under the fallen tree and draped two tarps over it, holding them down with rocks, rope, and sticks. We changed into dry clothes, got our dinners (these dinners were MRE's - Meals Ready-to-Eat - and were not good... at all), and piled all 12 of us into this small shelter. We started trying to go to bed at 7:30pm, which is when the longest night of my life began. We were all still freezing cold, it was raining and windy, causing the tarps to get loose from what held them down and got those of us closest to the outside wet and pounded in the face with cold wind. We were able to sleep in intervals of two to three hours before waking up again, seemingly simultaneously. The rest I had that evening was as follows:

8:00-10:00pm - Unsteady sleep/Expecting a bear to come and maul me as I was laying half outside the tarp

10:00pm-1:00am - Not being able to sleep whatsoever, resulting in me and a few others telling and solving riddles and telling extremely cheesy jokes

1:00-4:00am - Unsteady sleep again and feeling as if my feet were going to fall off as they were being pinched between two other people, resulting in me giving up all attempts to sleep inside the tarp and just letting my whole body except for my head lay outside the tarp

4:00-7:00am - Sleep extremely well surprisingly, waking up at 7:00 to the sunrise, realizing that there was nothing to be done until they picked us up, went back to sleep

7:00am-10:00am - Sleep/slowly woke up and ate breakfast

By 10:00 we had finally received a radio call from one of the staff (we had been trying since last night, turns out the area they told us to make camp was too far away from the base camp) who was going out for a drive. We communicated with them and told them we were on the right road, but for some reason it was very difficult for us to make that clear to them. Eventually, a man rode down, from the house whose yard we ran across, in a four-wheeler to us (we assumed he was Mr. Steen) to find out why his dog had been barking last night and this morning. When he found out we were simply hikers and we were waiting for our rides to pick us up, he offered help by letting us know exactly where we were and offering to give socks to those of us who didn't bring an extra pair and our only pair was soaking wet. He was a big help in telling the staff via radio where we were, and we were picked up around 11:30, concluding our adventure in the Ozarks National Forest.

Our humble abode

Bonding happened that night

Shout-out to Mr. Steen! (The elderly gentleman on the four-wheeler)

Besides the teachings and adventures I had this week, God had been working inside of me as well. Ever since last week when I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me and introduce a new career option, I have been wrestling and getting quite frustrated with the whole scenario. I know that this time now is a time of confirmation and waiting on the Lord to make things clear for me, and I know that I don't need to know right now because there's not much I can do to further that decision being in Arkansas with YWAM, which I am thankful for. But I've been finding myself frustrated with God putting me in a position where I don't know what is going to happen in the future and for making me feel like I'm being pulled this way and that without apparent reason. I really wanted to figure out what in the world God was thinking and why He has been putting me through this, when I looked at my nametag on the door to my room.

This really hit home for me, and I was then led to the following verses as well:

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:10-12 (NIV)

The last sentence of that passage screamed out to me to restore joy into my life and for me to have a willing spirit as God was calling me to trust Him in this next part of my life. Going into the camping trip, I was still struggling and battling internally, when during one evening after worship a friend noticed the subdued spirit I had. He asked me, "Are you having growing pains man?" Immediately I lifted my head up and couldn't help but smile.
"That is the best possible word I could use right now." I replied.
"The Holy Spirit gave it to me to tell you."
That moment I knew that what was going on in my life right now was for the best, I didn't fully understand what was going on exactly, but I had a much more optimistic view of it.

Another time while camping, a different friend of mine talked to me and asked how I was doing since the experience I had (I had vocalized what the Holy Spirit had seemingly showed me to the whole class and staff). I did my best to express what I was feeling and she totally understood. She too had gone a drastic change in her life, I'd say worse than mine, and talked to me about how she had been dealing with her change and what had been helping her. She spoke truth into my scenario and lead me to I Peter 5:10 which I read during my Solo. It goes as follows:

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (NIV)

After reading this I was also lead to this passage:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
II Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)

A sight we were fortunate enough to pass by on our bush-wacking adventure

 There could be no better phrase than growing pains to encapsulate what I've been going through the past week. It still is easier said than done the concept of "it will all be worth it in the end", but it is so true, and I have to keep reassuring it to myself day by day. Thankfully I am able to have great friends who can show me light in this darkness and lend wise words in times of my foolishness. Above all else though, I am thankful for the Holy Spirit teaching me as I go and the Word to constantly bring me back to God and His perfect will.

Week 4: Holy Spirit

"But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you."
John 14:26 (NIV)

I've been looking forward to this week ever since this DTS began. The Holy Spirit has always been a vague concept for me to grasp and I've never truly understood his role in the trinity and, for that matter, in my life personally. That being said, I had a lot of expectations going into this week; finding out who the Holy Spirit really is, what he does, and how he is significant in my life were the big questions on my mind, and they were all answered to me quite clearly. I also had the expectation that this knowledge would  in some way change my life's path to some degree, I don't know what specifically that change would be, but I figured it would be slight. I had no idea how wrong I would be and just how big the change would be after all. I guess it wasn't really the knowledge of the Holy Spirit that caused the change, but the Holy Spirit was involved for sure. I'll go more into this later; bear with me.

The speaker we had for this week was Mike Esposito, a short, buff, loud Italian born in the Bronx and now a YWAM base director in Atlanta, Georgia as well as a pastor. With him as the teacher of this topic, it was not a challenge whatsoever to pay attention in class and hear what he had to say about the Holy Spirit, which I was very thankful for as I was not wanting to miss a word. He started the first day by giving a general and broad introduction to the Holy Spirit as well as give a layout for the week. The layout for the week was typical with classes being every morning, except because of prior arrangements, Mike was having to leave early Friday morning, causing us to have our last session on Thursday night. He went on to say that the last session wasn't going to be a typical class time; it would consist of us waiting on the Holy Spirit to "fill us"; more on this soon. The introduction he gave us was largely focused on how the biggest difference between now and the Old Testament was that in the O.T. the people were under the Old Covenant between them and God (Sacrifices, temples, and laws given by God; The Ten Commandments) and now we are under the New Covenant, which is far superior to the Old Covenant as the Bible says. He went onto say the Holy Spirit has always been active in mankind and that it is not a new concept that came along with the New Covenant. The Holy Spirit did have different roles under the Old and New Covenants, however. Under the Old, the Holy Spirit was with, never in, the people, and he could come and go from people as God chose. Under the New, the Holy Spirit comes in us when we accept and believe in Christ and he stays in us as well.

I could go on and explain everything that Mike taught us this week, but I'm not a fan of writing obnoxiously long posts, and I'm sure none of you are fans of reading such posts either! So here is a summary of other topics he touched on:

- People were saved in the Old Testament just like we are saved now; by faith.

- Jesus did not start his ministry until the Holy Spirit came upon him and anointed him after he was baptized by John the Baptist.

- God's kindness is what leads people to repentance, not condemnation, therefore not only are we advised to not judge and condemn people because of our own sins, but also because it does no good to people and it does not show the love of God. Furthermore, Jesus did not come to bring condemnation (John 3:17), so what makes us think we should as well?

- The Holy Spirit is what tells us what God is thinking because he is the only one who knows what God is thinking. Also, what he tells us is what we are meant to know, and what he doesn't tell us we are meant to not know; very simple yet very important.

- Slow obedience is disobedience.

- The Principle of No-Failure: When we hear a call we think is from the Holy Spirit, pray about it, counsel with a spiritual leader, and take action accordingly, we will never fail. We will make mistakes, but mistakes are merely teachers for success. Also, even if our aim is off, because we are taking action out of faith, God will redirect our path to go back towards Him because He is more committed to our life than we will ever be.

- Because the Holy Spirit is a Spirit of Regeneration, we are not obligated to continually live sinfully or live in generational sins; we are no longer "stuck" because the Holy Spirit redeems and heals us.

- The empowerment of the Holy Spirit and the various reactions people have to feeling the Holy Spirit's presence (laughter, falling, dancing, singing, etc.).

Now about Thursday night. This is where the change that twisted my life originated. The premise for this night was that we were going to sit and wait on the Holy Spirit to fill us and empower us, just as the disciples did (Acts 1:7, 8). Their waiting resulted in flaming tongues coming into their presence and everyone hearing what the disciples were saying in their own languages (Acts 2:1-8). Quite honestly, we weren't expecting flaming tongues. The reason the disciples were waiting for the Holy Spirit to empower them was so that they would be able to do the most for the glory of God and be "witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." (Acts 1:8). We were waiting on the Holy Spirit to talk to us and tell us things that would help us be better servants. We were trying to not set any expectation but we were preparing ourselves by praying throughout the day to have our hearts and souls open in order to receive what God wanted to tell us in its entirety. Along with waiting on the Spirit, we were informed that the staff and Mike would be coming to us and pray for the Spirit to come and make himself and his will known to us. Also, they would keep their mind open for the Spirit to come and tell them any words that were directed towards us students. Throughout this whole day we did our best to not set any bar for how well the night would go, but we were most definitely excited.

A bit of background information on my part before talking about what happened that night. My whole life I have had a strong desire to have a career that would be significant. Now, by significant, I meant your stereotypical careers that would "make a difference" while also making a steady and reliable income. I never had a desire to be a rich and greedy man, but I didn't want to just barely be able to pay the bills and support my family either. In my case, the two jobs that circled throughout my thoughts over the years were in the fields of engineering and medical. Basically, I wanted a job that would make a difference so I would feel good morally and as a Christian while also making good money so I would feel safe; I wanted safe and easy Christianity.

As of Winter Quarter earlier this year I had felt strongly that I was meant to pursue being a doctor and incorporate some medical mission work as well. I was convinced this was correct because it was a good career and would have Christian attributes being on the mission field. I was so content with that decision that I felt God was convicting me to pursue it. The more I thought about it, the more excited about it I got and the more I looked forward to being a doctor, making money, being able to pay off school debts within a few years, and serving God all at the same time. It was perfect and any other career ideas that popped in my head I quickly dismissed.

Last week during our lesson on The Nature and Character of God, Barb gave us a bit of time to think about things on this world that we were holding onto tighter than we were holding onto God; things we weren't willing to give up for God. The second that she brought that up, my mind shouted out my pursuing of being a doctor. I was so shocked by it and was so against it that I shoved it back into the depths of my mind and convinced myself that it was not from God, it was my mind playing tricks on me. It took a little while for me to suppress the thoughts, but after a while I was able to do it and I forgot about it.

Now back to Thursday night. I felt very prepared for what the Holy Spirit had to tell me and had prayed earnestly and intensely for God to feel welcome to come into my heart and speak the truth to me. The night started out with a couple worship songs and transferred to one of the staff playing the piano and eventually that transitioned to some quiet music being played from the speakers. I knelt and tried to clear my mind and just wait for the Spirit to speak to me, but I didn't receive anything. After worship ended, Mike, my one-on-one, Sean, and Josh, the DTS leader approached me first and started praying for me and feeding me information the Spirit had told them to give me. Sean was hearing a lot about knowledge and Solomon's wisdom and how God was wanting me to have that same wisdom, which sounded good to me because wisdom and knowledge lined up with being a doctor. And then Mike and Josh prayed for me and told me what they were hearing. Josh saw me climbing great heights, like tall mountains, and achieving significant accomplishments, another sign towards being a doctor, but then he said that God was wanting me to be a Teacher of the Word, and Mike said that he heard Proclaimer of the Word. What? That didn't seem to line up. The more I thought about it, the more I thought it sounded like God was wanting me to be a Theology Professor or maybe even a pastor. Later another staff came up and told me how I was to think of the Church as Jesus did; as His bride. He said I would lead the Church to its full potential and I would mature as a man and have the Church mature with me. This sounded more and more like a pastor, and I started to freak out.

I've always disliked the idea of me being a pastor. Always. Not only for the simple reason that I was not a good public speaker and always stood shaking as I spoke, but for the over-all reason that it would require total reliance on God. For income, for material to present, for everything. I was petrified. I then remembered a couple of verses one of the staff had presented me earlier in the event:

"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them."
Joshua 1:6 (NIV)

Well that was somewhat encouraging, but I still was skeptical and really felt that I was not capable of the job. Sure God said for me to be strong and courageous, but that's always easier said than done I felt, and then I read the second verse:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

Ouch. That hit me hard. All this time I had been telling God that I was ready and that I was wanting Him to tell me His will, but I was never truly receptive until tonight, and He took advantage of it. I was telling Him to give me a stable job and then let me serve Him, but that was never in His plan. I was never willing to totally be reliant on Him. I had heard story after story growing up in the church about people being supplied in every way in their life by God, yet I never thought that that's how God had planned my life to be. As soon as I realized this, what felt like a wave of comfort and peace washed over me. I felt content letting God speak to me and how He had been honest with me, which is what I wanted. I now know that this time I have here at the DTS is a time God has given me for confirmation and for me to be in constant openness towards what He has to tell me. It's an exciting time in my life that I'm going through right now as well as, at times, stressful as I am waiting on the Lord to continue to direct me and teach me, but praise God for family and friends, new and old, who encourage me along the way!

Week 3: The Nature and Character of God

"I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharaoh and all his army through his chariots and his horsemen. The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I gain glory through Pharaoh, his chariots and his horsemen." - Exodus 14:17,18 (NIV)

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - I Corinthians 10:31 (NIV)

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." - Romans 15:5,6 (NIV)

"... It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Sovereign LORD, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes." - Ezekiel 36:22,23 (NIV)

(bold and underlined emphasis mine)

Have you ever taken notice of how many times God refers to us bringing Him glory? He not only refers to us humans bringing him glory, but all things in the universe; the animals, the vegetation, the earth, the cosmos, everything! Sometimes, when we are doing a poor job of giving Him the glory (which is so much more than "sometimes" implies), He takes matters into His own hands to show how amazing He is and that He truly is the LORD. A good example of this would be in Ezekiel. God had been speaking through Ezekiel to the captives in Babylon in Israel, telling them of the judgment they had caused God to invoke upon them time and time again. Eventually, and seemingly unexpectedly, He tells the Israelites that he will bring them out of their captivity and put them back in their land that He promised their ancestors. The same land that they defiled and proved that they did not deserve (Ezekiel 36:24-30). As you can see though in the last verse I quoted above, right before He tells the Israelites what will be done, He makes it clear that He is not doing it for them, but for Himself. He does all of this so that He can show the world just how holy He is. Have you ever wondered why God is so emphatic on showing how awesome He is?

I know I hadn't ever thought twice of it. In previous Bible readings I would probably just gloss over it. This was true up until this last Spring. For some reason I started to be quite interested in how atheists thought (and still do right now to be honest). Now, before anyone raises any eyebrows suspiciously or begins to question the authenticity of my faith, let me explain. I have often wondered what it is that makes people not believe in God, and for most of my life that's as far as I went; simply wondering. With this wondering I would draw up scenarios that I thought made atheists not choose God, and from those scenarios (that I constructed I remind you) I was able to come up with very good arguments of my own and felt quite proud of myself being able to convert these atheists I had fabricated in my mind. Somehow I was able to take a step back in this thinking and realize just how silly and meaningless this thought process was. This led me to realize that the best way to figure out what goes on in an atheist's mind is to simply read the things they posted, watch videos about them, and actually talk to them in person (unfortunately I haven't many atheist friends, so this has not happened so much... yet). From that point on I've made it somewhat a hobby of mine to look into it. I began watching videos of debates between atheists and Christians and read up on some sites, and I found out that some atheists had taken notice of God's demand for us to glorify Him and turned it into an attack. The specific post that I saw spoke of God creating humanity just to show off His awesomeness and no other reason, making Him seem like an egotistical dictator in need of a constant power-boost/reaffirmation of his magnificence. Reading this made me frustrated at the accusation of course, but at the same time it had be wondering, "What is the reason for God striving to be glorified in all ways?" I knew that the god atheists were describing was not the God I worshiped, so it put me in a trap trying to figure out what the reasoning was after all.

A close-up of the sunrise we get to see every morning from the cafeteria

It was not until I came here, specifically this week, that the answer was presented to me. I was reading the same passage in Ezekiel I mentioned earlier, and somehow, the Lord presented Himself to me and made it very clear what His intentions were. He showed me how people would not follow Him and trust Him if His might and power and glory and grace was not shouted out and expressed by His people and all of creation. It made all the sense in the world! Why would I want to follow a God that didn't do marvelous things, make wonderful creations, and cause humans to do no less than cry out His majesty and worship everything about Him? God does not need us little humans to tell Him how almighty He is, He is fully aware of who He is and what He can do (which is not pride, it is humility because He is believing in the truth that He is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, and omnificent). He wants us to glorify Him because it is part of the requirement to show how perfect He is to the rest of the world so that they too can worship Him and be saved. Our worshiping and glorifying of Him helps others. This realization was one of most humble lessons I've learned in all my life. It was also re-enforced during the teaching this week. Our speaker was the director of the base here at YWAM Ozarks, Barb Nizza, and she spoke on The Nature and Character of God. The topic that I felt most correlated with my recent learning was titled God wants us to obey Him because He desires our best. The verse she showed us to get the point across was this:

"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward." - Psalm 19:7-11 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

So many words are able to be used to express how good God's laws and desires and commands are. I see how this glaringly shows how God gives us laws for our benefit, but I then combined this lesson with what I learned earlier. God wants us to glorify Him for the sake of everybody else so that they may find Him and be saved, so I edited the topic a little bit; God wants us to obey Him because He desires our best and the best of the people around us. Our actions affect everybody, so why not make them godly actions?

It has been so exciting this week as God has unfolded to me more and more of His big plan, and I am so thrilled to be a part of it. I am also so very thankful for the rest of the teaching Barb gave us. If I could give an overall statement about what Barb taught us it would be the simple yet all-encompassing statement that God is good. At times I feel that statement is so incredibly lacking to describe God (because it really is), but other times I feel it is all I can possibly say about God because of the many different words that can be implied by the simple word "good". We learned about many more topics including:

- We are valuable because God values us

- The Kingdom of Heaven should be something that we are willing (not grudgingly tolerant) and excited to sell all we have and hold dear to pursue, otherwise we have some prioritizing to do

- The Lord understands our feelings because he has feelings as well; if he didn't have emotions, then how could He help us with ours?

In other news, yesterday (Friday, October the 12th) we were informed of the outreach teams, and I found out that I will be going to Kenya! I shouldn't say found out since I have had a strong feeling from God that Kenya is where He is wanting me to go; this just confirmed His plan for me. It is all so extremely exciting for me to think about as it is becoming more and more real as time goes on. I feel ready right now to go to Africa and do His work, but I know God has much more knowledge for me to attain here as I still have 9 weeks of the lecture phase left, which I am more than willing to do. Every day God seems to be showing Himself to me through new ways and I have been growing more and more confident in this faith I have been fortunate enough to grow up in. It's hard to believe that it's only been 3 weeks that I've been here, yet at the same time I can't believe that I'm already a quarter of the way done with this phase. I hope I continue to make the most of my time here and continue to strive to learn more about God's character and how I am to imitate Him.

View of the sunrise including Ozark (nearly impossible to see, right above the treeline to the left)