That seems to have a negative connotation, doesn't it? "The Calm Before The Storm" - sounds like something bad is about to come, I feel. I suppose since the storms we hear about wreak havoc and cause such destruction it does make sense, but what about those storms that we enjoy? The storms that cause us to want to drop whatever we are doing to run outside in whatever we are wearing just so we can experience all that is going on with all of our senses. We don't care that we are getting drenched from head to toe, getting a bit chilly from the fierce wind, having to keep our eyes squinted so that it doesn't get pierced by the rain while we still try to see the lightning, and screaming all at the same time with pure joy because it's all we can think of doing with our voices in the midst of the fury of the weather. All we care about in these moments is doing all we can, as fast as we can, for as long as we can to experience them to the fullest so we don't miss out and so we may take part in what is laid before us. While others may think it crazy to take part in such a bizarre activity because they don't want to have the hassle of drying off or warming up or being tired afterwards, we don't care about that either in these storms. It isn't that we are ignorant of what will happen afterwards, no, it is much better than that. We take advantage of what is happening now, knowing that whatever may happen afterwards pales in comparison to what is happening in that storm. It is storms like these that we never want to end, that we never want to stop experiencing, that we want to live in. That kind of storm doesn't sound very negative to me at all, in fact, it sounds rather positive and exciting I think.
It's this kind of storm I'm trying to think of when I think about my outreach to Kenya. When was that again? Oh yeah, two days from now. It's hard for me to really grasp that it's happening and for me to put to words what I'm feeling, because I'm not sure what I'm really feeling either. One thing I think I'm able to consistently feel regarding the outreach is that it will be something that I will want to experience with all of my senses and something that I will be wanting to spend as much time doing all I can to make it the best experience it can be. It is something that I will be wanting to take advantage of because it really is an opportunity laid before me by God.
Well since we're on this defining topic, what shall we say then is this "Calm" before the storm? You could probably guess - it would be this Christmas break back home in Wenatchee, Washington. It has been marvelous being home and seeing so many friends and family and spending so much time with them, and I am so grateful I have been able to see them all before I head out again, this time on a global scale. Everybody back here at home as been so supportive of everything I've been going through this year and are all excited to hear about what's been going on and what's going to be happening in the near future, and I've enjoyed talking about it all to them. This week has been full of pretty much that - relaxing and quality time with loved ones and catching up on how things have been, and not much else. This has been very enjoyable, but it also has been very different - giving consideration to how for the past 13 weeks I've been living according to a pretty packed schedule and doing a lot of things in that packed schedule, I would say this week may have been quite a drastic change in comparison. I almost didn't really know how to act without the schedule, and I feel that I somewhat floundered in response to the change in habitat. The lack of things going on was a bit overwhelming I now realize.
Before I arrived home for the break, I had been thinking a bit about what it was going to be like when I went home and how I was scared of what I was going to be like when I returned to familiar places and how I might return to old habits and fall back into the motions - a place I did not want to return to. I type this onto the document right now with sorrow as I realize that I did indeed return to old habits and I did have a very difficult time maintaining what I had going on throughout all of DTS. I never set up any time for me to have devotions, I never had deliberate prayer, I never really gave God any time. I can't believe how easy it had been this past week to basically drop so many good things that I had been doing for several weeks. I have asked for forgiveness and I do believe I have received it and I have forgiven myself as well, but I still am wanting to learn from this past week's mistakes and have it in the back of my head for future reference. By no means do I think being with my friends and family attributed to my personal mistakes and failures (and I don't think spending time with them was a waste of time either), I do believe that they were caused by my own weaknesses, and I also believe that I'm not beating myself up - just being honest.
I view this past week as "The Calm Before The Storm," and I realize that I don't want to live as I have personally this past week as far as habits and spare time goes; I don't want to live in The Calm anymore. I want to live in The Storm. I want this Calm to be the last one I experience, and I want the Storm that will be starting very soon to never end. Even when I come home after DTS is said and done, I want to still be living in The Storm and I want to be experiencing all God is having for me to experience. I don't want to view foreign third world countries to be the only places for missions; I want to view the whole world as a mission field, and I want to treat it as a mission field as well. I was talking with a couple of very good friends the other night about DTS and whatnot, and one of them asked something along the lines of if I was afraid that this whole DTS would be a simple mountain-top experience. He asked if I was afraid that, given enough time, I would eventually slip back into the norm and the fire I once had would fade away. I replied that I didn't think DTS was a mountain-top experience for me to eventually descend and return to normalcy. I viewed DTS instead as a "new" norm. I myself didn't even know that that's how I viewed DTS, and I hadn't ever thought of it like that before; I'm convinced that God put those words in my mouth, both for my friends and myself to hear. I have been given a new norm, a Storm, to live in, and anything else I do besides that will be irregular and simply wrong. I ask for prayer as I leave in a couple days to re-enter the Storm so that I do indeed re-enter it and experience it to the fullest, but, more importantly, so I may never leave it again.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Week 12: God is the End, not the Means
And just like that, Week 12 has ended and therefore so has
Lecture Phase of Discipleship Training School here at YWAM Ozarks. It’s hard to
think that I’ve been here for only 12 weeks; it truly feels like it’s been a
year or two. So many things we’ve learned, so many experiences we’ve had, so
many blessings been poured upon us, it is bittersweet to think about it all.
Bitter in that DTS is half way over, sweet in that it is now only a matter of a couple weeks until I am on a plane headed to Kenya! Now is the time when I begin asking myself if I made the most of those 12 weeks. I think back to the few times I might have zoned out in a teaching, the times I may have let distractions take over, the times I didn't what to give my 100%, and it gets very easy very fast to think more and more that I failed this experience. But that's not right at all. No matter what I do, there is always something better than I could have done, so what's the point of beating myself up for not being perfect? Sure, it's awesome and great to give 100% and to really make the most of everything, and it is ideal to live that way, but I've been learning what DTS really is. Even though it may have the word "School" in it's title, a DTS is not like a normal school where you simply pass or fail. It's a time to experience God in ways you haven't yet, to learn about the privileges and responsibilities we have as Disciples, and a time to make mistakes. If you're expected to make mistakes in DTS, then how does one fail? As long as effort is put forth and motives are correct, you'll never fail. Turns out the same things apply to Christianity as I talked about in a previous post. God asks us to love Him, trust Him, and follow Him, and if we do that sincerely, we will never fail. We will make many mistakes along the way, and we will learn from them, but because we follow God, we never fail. So the question as to whether I made the most of Lecture Phase or not is a silly question. I experienced it, and that was the goal. This makes me excited to make more mistakes in Outreach Phase, because I know that God will work through them all, and will refine me more and more as I live and learn.
It was a very relaxed
week which was nice – we didn’t have a one set speaker for the week so the
topics varied; we had a local woman from Ozark come up and talk about her experiences on the mission field (she was 70 years old and had been doing missions for the majority of her life, she had some cool stories) on Monday and Tuesday, one of the staff members talked to us on Wednesday, on Thursday we watched a Christian documentary on sex trafficking titled "Nefarious: Merchant of Souls," and on Friday we listened to a sermon called "Ten Shekels and a Shirt" preached by Paris Reidhead. The week as a whole was great, but the last two days of classes really stuck out to me.
You may have heard of "Nefarious: Merchant of Souls," and if you have, you'll know why this film was a significant part of this week. As I said earlier, it is a Christian documentary on sex trafficking, and it is a movie that will get you to experience all possible emotions, except happiness perhaps. How's that for a sales pitch? Then again, I don't know how you could experience happiness on a topic like trafficking in the first place. I don't know what else I could say about the film, other than it was very well put together and gives a great presentation of the current scenario. A forewarning, the film is a bit extreme and not for all audiences, for those of you who feel you can handle it, I highly recommend spending a couple hours watching it.
You may also have heard about "Ten Shekels and a Shirt" by Paris Reidhead. It was preached by him over 50 years ago, and praise God that it was recorded. He starts the sermon in Judges 17 and reads the story of a man named Micah who hired a Levite to be his priest with ten shekels of silver a year as well as clothing and food; the Levite accepted because he would acquire things that made him happy. Later on, some Danites came and attacked the village Micah and the Levite lived in. When the Danites came to Micah's house, the Levite was there and was convinced to join the Danites because it would be better living with more benefits; more happiness. He fed off this passage by talking about how the Levite's highest value in life, his prime goal, was to be happy. That was it. He became a priest to Micah for ten shekels and a shirt because it insured him happiness, and then he was sold out again because it insured him even more happiness. He didn't become a priest for any other reason. Paris went on to talk about how that lifestyle is a humanist lifestyle, not a Christian lifestyle. He talked about how Christianity has taken on two forms of humanistic beliefs: liberal and fundamentalist. Liberal meaning that the goal of Christianity is to attain happiness while living and fundamentalist meaning that the goal is happiness when you die. To make a long sermon short: according to Paris, humanism is the most deadly philosophy ever and is in direct contrast with Christianity. Most of us Christians live this humanistic lifestyle.
Think about it: why did you become a Christian? Paris asked the question, and I realized that I accepted Christianity because eternal life in Heaven with God sounded pretty freaking awesome. I imagined that I would be pretty happy up there, to say the least. It sounded better than the alternative, so why wouldn't I choose it? According to Paris, this view is humanistic and is not what Christianity is about. The point Paris made towards the end of the sermon was exactly what the title of this post is: God is the End, not the Means. We are to view God as the reason we choose Christianity. We are not to view God as the means to attain happiness. What does that mean exactly? It means that our one purpose to choose God is because he deserves it; glorifying God is the one reason we choose to follow Him. Because of what He's done, because of His suffering, He deserves all the praise and all the glory. Paris put this into terms that really shook my world:
"But I believe that the only ones who God actually witnesses by His Spirit and are born of Him, are the people, whether they say it or not, that come to Jesus Christ and say something like this, 'Lord Jesus, I'm going to obey you, and love you, and serve you, and do what you want me to do, as long as I live even if I go to Hell at the end of the road, simply because you are worthy to be loved, and obeyed, and served, and I'm not trying to make a deal with you!'" - Paris Reidhead
When I heard that underlined portion, I was struck to my very core with conviction. If I knew I was going to Hell, would I still give God the glory? Before I heard this sermon, I would have downright said absolutely not. I'm not saying that now all of a sudden I'm so easily convinced to say that I would, but I am most definitely leaning that way. Now, I am aware that what is being said can raise many questions, and I'm not saying that God will send to Hell those who sincerely believe in Him with correct motive and everything (since that is in direct contradiction with the Bible), but that is besides the point. We are to live in a way that we don't care what happens to us, all we care about is glorifying God because He demands it and He is righteous to demand such a task. Another question would be, "Doesn't God value humans and their happiness though?" and the answer would be of course! When we value God as the highest, then we take on his values as well, and since he values humans and their happiness, we do too, but we need to realize that in this value system, we need to keep these values in check and keep God the highest value. I cannot express all of these thoughts as well as Paris did, so I highly recommend - to everyone - to listen to this recording or read the sermon, it's relatively easy enough to find, but much harder for most everybody, myself included, to accept. I pray that God works through you as you read/listen to this sermon and gives you new revelation. Believe it or not, this revelation has given me much happiness (so incredibly ironic) and peace, as I realize that all I need to do in this life is do what God tells me to do and glorify Him all the while I do it.
It's sad to think that there are no more classes or speakers for me to experience in this DTS, but it is very exciting to think that my classes and speakers will not be in an actual classroom or taught by actual people, but in a couple weeks will be on African soil and taught by experiences and mistakes. I thank you all for your prayers and support and look forward to seeing some of you in a week as I come home for Christmas break! God bless you all and all you bless God!
You may have heard of "Nefarious: Merchant of Souls," and if you have, you'll know why this film was a significant part of this week. As I said earlier, it is a Christian documentary on sex trafficking, and it is a movie that will get you to experience all possible emotions, except happiness perhaps. How's that for a sales pitch? Then again, I don't know how you could experience happiness on a topic like trafficking in the first place. I don't know what else I could say about the film, other than it was very well put together and gives a great presentation of the current scenario. A forewarning, the film is a bit extreme and not for all audiences, for those of you who feel you can handle it, I highly recommend spending a couple hours watching it.
You may also have heard about "Ten Shekels and a Shirt" by Paris Reidhead. It was preached by him over 50 years ago, and praise God that it was recorded. He starts the sermon in Judges 17 and reads the story of a man named Micah who hired a Levite to be his priest with ten shekels of silver a year as well as clothing and food; the Levite accepted because he would acquire things that made him happy. Later on, some Danites came and attacked the village Micah and the Levite lived in. When the Danites came to Micah's house, the Levite was there and was convinced to join the Danites because it would be better living with more benefits; more happiness. He fed off this passage by talking about how the Levite's highest value in life, his prime goal, was to be happy. That was it. He became a priest to Micah for ten shekels and a shirt because it insured him happiness, and then he was sold out again because it insured him even more happiness. He didn't become a priest for any other reason. Paris went on to talk about how that lifestyle is a humanist lifestyle, not a Christian lifestyle. He talked about how Christianity has taken on two forms of humanistic beliefs: liberal and fundamentalist. Liberal meaning that the goal of Christianity is to attain happiness while living and fundamentalist meaning that the goal is happiness when you die. To make a long sermon short: according to Paris, humanism is the most deadly philosophy ever and is in direct contrast with Christianity. Most of us Christians live this humanistic lifestyle.
Think about it: why did you become a Christian? Paris asked the question, and I realized that I accepted Christianity because eternal life in Heaven with God sounded pretty freaking awesome. I imagined that I would be pretty happy up there, to say the least. It sounded better than the alternative, so why wouldn't I choose it? According to Paris, this view is humanistic and is not what Christianity is about. The point Paris made towards the end of the sermon was exactly what the title of this post is: God is the End, not the Means. We are to view God as the reason we choose Christianity. We are not to view God as the means to attain happiness. What does that mean exactly? It means that our one purpose to choose God is because he deserves it; glorifying God is the one reason we choose to follow Him. Because of what He's done, because of His suffering, He deserves all the praise and all the glory. Paris put this into terms that really shook my world:
"But I believe that the only ones who God actually witnesses by His Spirit and are born of Him, are the people, whether they say it or not, that come to Jesus Christ and say something like this, 'Lord Jesus, I'm going to obey you, and love you, and serve you, and do what you want me to do, as long as I live even if I go to Hell at the end of the road, simply because you are worthy to be loved, and obeyed, and served, and I'm not trying to make a deal with you!'" - Paris Reidhead
When I heard that underlined portion, I was struck to my very core with conviction. If I knew I was going to Hell, would I still give God the glory? Before I heard this sermon, I would have downright said absolutely not. I'm not saying that now all of a sudden I'm so easily convinced to say that I would, but I am most definitely leaning that way. Now, I am aware that what is being said can raise many questions, and I'm not saying that God will send to Hell those who sincerely believe in Him with correct motive and everything (since that is in direct contradiction with the Bible), but that is besides the point. We are to live in a way that we don't care what happens to us, all we care about is glorifying God because He demands it and He is righteous to demand such a task. Another question would be, "Doesn't God value humans and their happiness though?" and the answer would be of course! When we value God as the highest, then we take on his values as well, and since he values humans and their happiness, we do too, but we need to realize that in this value system, we need to keep these values in check and keep God the highest value. I cannot express all of these thoughts as well as Paris did, so I highly recommend - to everyone - to listen to this recording or read the sermon, it's relatively easy enough to find, but much harder for most everybody, myself included, to accept. I pray that God works through you as you read/listen to this sermon and gives you new revelation. Believe it or not, this revelation has given me much happiness (so incredibly ironic) and peace, as I realize that all I need to do in this life is do what God tells me to do and glorify Him all the while I do it.
It's sad to think that there are no more classes or speakers for me to experience in this DTS, but it is very exciting to think that my classes and speakers will not be in an actual classroom or taught by actual people, but in a couple weeks will be on African soil and taught by experiences and mistakes. I thank you all for your prayers and support and look forward to seeing some of you in a week as I come home for Christmas break! God bless you all and all you bless God!
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Week 11: The Father Heart of God
Week 11 has come and gone here at YWAM Ozarks in the blink of an eye. The topic of the week was "The Father Heart of God" taught by a man by the name of Dick Schroeder. The purpose of this week was to bring to light the false images of God the Father that have been popularly accepted and to reveal who God really is as the Father. Along with this primary focus, Dick also spent some time talking about Forgiveness and Bitterness. He read Matthew 18:21-35, The Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor, to make the point that if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven in return. He went on to talk more about forgiveness and how it is a choice, not a feeling, how it means to "tear up the debt," and how it is a response to what Jesus has done for us. He followed up that to talk about bitterness. He talked about how a root of bitterness can affect many around us (Hebrews 12:14,15), it leads to broken relationships, and it binds us to the past. We spent some time on Thursday night to forgive those who we had been harboring bitterness towards, and though I did find a few I needed to forgive, I thought for the most part that I did not have very many at all. I realized how many blessings God had given me (and is still giving me) throughout my life with the people he had surrounded me with; it was a good and refreshing realization.
More topics that Dick covered with us are shown below:
- We are to base our lives on the word of God and not our emotions
- Sonship is found in learning to be led by the Spirit
- Shame is a sense of being uniquely and hopelessly flawed. Shame leaves a person feeling different from and less valuable than other human beings
- Parents are the first scope through which we see God the Father
A bit of expanding on the last thing mentioned in that list. Before classes even started Dick had us fill out a packet about how we viewed our parents and the relationship we had with them. As far as negative things go, I had a really difficult time filling out the packet and finding things that I thought were negative about my parents. I'm not saying this to talk my parents up or anything like that, but I'm saying it because that's really how it was. Truth be told, I feel like not a lot of information presented this week regarding God the Father was new news or mind-boggling to me, and when Dick told us how our first views of God are originated from our views of our parents, I understood why. God blessed me with wonderful parents who loved God and loved their family, and because of that, I got an appropriate view of God because of the great view I got of my parents because of how truly great they were. Even though I think I may not have learned very much from this week, I was able to find out how blessed I am with my parents specifically. I know that I will never be able to repay them as they deserve, and I know that they love me unconditionally. For that, I thank them and I thank Dick for being able to show this to me.
A passing comment Dick made this week was that he thought that Christianity in the Western world focused too much on head knowledge, and not heart knowledge. What he meant by that was that people are too focused on learning a lot of facts and attaining knowledge about the Bible and God, instead of actually applying what they learned to their life and attaining the heart and character of God. Now, knowledge of God and the Bible is NOT a bad thing to have or strive for, in fact it is extremely good to reach and strive for. The point Dick was making was that people are becoming too consumed with merely knowing things and not living those things out. When he pointed that out, I felt very convicted that he was talking to me. God had been giving me a deeper love for studying the Bible ever since I started the DTS and it had been growing ever since. The problem arose when I became so consumed with finding answers in my studying that I forgot the part about applying those answers to my life. What's more is that this week we were going to do a 40-hour fast, where we choose what we each individually fast. From this conviction I decided to fast studying the Bible so I could focus more on talking to God through prayer and simply "being" with Him. Through that time, I didn't really receive any words from Him, but I did receive an overwhelming peace and satisfaction of devoting time to just being with Him. I'm sure that to many, what I am saying doesn't make much sense, maybe because the whole concept is strange or foreign or because I'm just poor at explaining it. Either way.
I am about to enter my 12th and last week of classes here at YWAM Ozarks, followed by a local Christmas outreach here in Ozark, Arkansas, and I can't believe how rapidly my time here is diminishing. I pray that I remain open to things God has for me and I keep my eye on the prize as I grow more and more excited to come home and visit family and friends. I appreciate all of your prayers as well and thank you all for your support and love. God bless!
More topics that Dick covered with us are shown below:
- We are to base our lives on the word of God and not our emotions
- Sonship is found in learning to be led by the Spirit
- Shame is a sense of being uniquely and hopelessly flawed. Shame leaves a person feeling different from and less valuable than other human beings
- Parents are the first scope through which we see God the Father
A bit of expanding on the last thing mentioned in that list. Before classes even started Dick had us fill out a packet about how we viewed our parents and the relationship we had with them. As far as negative things go, I had a really difficult time filling out the packet and finding things that I thought were negative about my parents. I'm not saying this to talk my parents up or anything like that, but I'm saying it because that's really how it was. Truth be told, I feel like not a lot of information presented this week regarding God the Father was new news or mind-boggling to me, and when Dick told us how our first views of God are originated from our views of our parents, I understood why. God blessed me with wonderful parents who loved God and loved their family, and because of that, I got an appropriate view of God because of the great view I got of my parents because of how truly great they were. Even though I think I may not have learned very much from this week, I was able to find out how blessed I am with my parents specifically. I know that I will never be able to repay them as they deserve, and I know that they love me unconditionally. For that, I thank them and I thank Dick for being able to show this to me.
A passing comment Dick made this week was that he thought that Christianity in the Western world focused too much on head knowledge, and not heart knowledge. What he meant by that was that people are too focused on learning a lot of facts and attaining knowledge about the Bible and God, instead of actually applying what they learned to their life and attaining the heart and character of God. Now, knowledge of God and the Bible is NOT a bad thing to have or strive for, in fact it is extremely good to reach and strive for. The point Dick was making was that people are becoming too consumed with merely knowing things and not living those things out. When he pointed that out, I felt very convicted that he was talking to me. God had been giving me a deeper love for studying the Bible ever since I started the DTS and it had been growing ever since. The problem arose when I became so consumed with finding answers in my studying that I forgot the part about applying those answers to my life. What's more is that this week we were going to do a 40-hour fast, where we choose what we each individually fast. From this conviction I decided to fast studying the Bible so I could focus more on talking to God through prayer and simply "being" with Him. Through that time, I didn't really receive any words from Him, but I did receive an overwhelming peace and satisfaction of devoting time to just being with Him. I'm sure that to many, what I am saying doesn't make much sense, maybe because the whole concept is strange or foreign or because I'm just poor at explaining it. Either way.
I am about to enter my 12th and last week of classes here at YWAM Ozarks, followed by a local Christmas outreach here in Ozark, Arkansas, and I can't believe how rapidly my time here is diminishing. I pray that I remain open to things God has for me and I keep my eye on the prize as I grow more and more excited to come home and visit family and friends. I appreciate all of your prayers as well and thank you all for your support and love. God bless!
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Week 10: Cross-Cultural Ministry
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:19,20 (NIV) (emphasis mine)
Imagine you are a missionary in Western Africa and have been serving to a tribe in a village for several months, when during one conversation with the chief, he makes it known to you that he wants to become a Christian. You get very excited that your work is finally beginning to produce fruits such as this, but you are reminded of one thing, one obstacle. The chief has three wives and has had children with each of them. You think back to your lessons taught at church about polygamy being a sin and are frantic to make a decision as to what on earth you should do. So, what do you do?
The above scenario was one of the case studies given to us this week by our speaker, Graeme Hackworth, from Australia. Graeme's story is that after being a science teacher for several years, he took part in a DTS in his early 30's, went on an outreach to India, and simply didn't come back for 20 years. There he met his wife, has had 3 kids, and lives in Australia currently. With 20 years spent on the mission field, Graeme had lots of experiences, stories, knowledge, and wisdom to share with us regarding cross-cultural ministry and missions. One style of teaching Graeme had with us was giving us real-life case studies that missionaries had faced on the mission field and asked us what we would do in the scenario, along with what the missionaries did and why they did it. I'm not going to tell you in this blog what the missionary did in the scenario I gave you, it is just there for you to think and dwell on. Things to keep in mind is what controversies would you face in doing certain actions, and which controversies affect the salvation of the people of the tribe as well as their potential relationship's with God? Fruit for thought.
I greatly appreciated how Graeme's teaching style and material he presented to us this week, because although this week was about missions and cross-cultural ministry, I found it still very applicable to someone like myself who is not feeling called to the mission fields in foreign countries. The concepts he taught and informed us of were ones that are not only true for foreign countries, but for our culture as well. Examples would be styles of worship, styles of fellowship, styles of church services, and so on and so forth. A statement we heard many times regarding these various styles was that they were "different, not one of them is better than the other, they're just different." Which spoke volumes to me. Another key concept Graeme taught was one that was taught by a previous speaker, John Ray (who I was not able to hear this from because of my pneumonia, thankfully some fellow students filled me in a bit on his teaching), and that was the idea that Christianity is not meant to be viewed as a box to live in. By this I mean that Christianity cannot be thought of as a simple set of rules or a simple prayer prayed, and people cannot be determined as Christian or non-Christian on the basis of this "box." Christianity is to be viewed as what direction you are going in life; whether you are walking towards Jesus or not. Now with this new definition, it becomes much more difficult to judge people as to whether or not they are Christ followers, and frankly I find that to be a good thing. God has told us not to judge, not only because we have no right to judge, but because we are simply not capable whatsoever of such a serious and difficult job.
Other thoughts and teachings I got from Graeme this week:
- Should we keep on asking God for blessings? Have we not been blessed enough with the country we live in, the family we have, the freedom we have? Maybe it's about time we start blessing God by using these blessings he gave us to bless others.
- Take time to understand the history of countries you go to or are helping take the gospel to so that you understand more of how to serve and share those people. Especially if those people are hostile towards Christianity, it is crucial to discover why that is.
- You are the only one who knows who, what, and if you are worshiping. This ties in with the statement about judgment.
One more thing we learned this week from Graeme this week is one that is too important to be a mere bullet point. It is the concept of going on the mission field to disciple people into being true Christians rather than merely going to the mission field to get people to conform to your personal Christian culture or make them pray the "Sinner's Prayer." This goes along with Christians being those walking towards Jesus rather than those living in the "box." Now, I don't want you to think that I'm contradicting myself by saying that by making the people disciples is the same as fitting them into the "box," because it is not. The simplest illustration I can give towards the purpose of making disciples is the whole idea of "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life." Making disciples is how you show the people what being a Christian is all about and continuing their teaching. If you look at the verse I posted at the top, I emphasized on the words "make disciples." Jesus commanded in the Great Commission not to simply "save" the people, but to disciple them as well. Now, the truth of the matter is, you will see a far fewer amount of people "discipled" on your mission trip than you would see people "saved" if you focused on saving people rather than making them disciples, but the Great Commission still stands, and for a good reason too. In the course of making disciples, you also will teach them that they are to make disciples as well, and who better to make disciples in a foreign country than a native? That person would see much more success than you, a foreigner, quite honestly.
In other news, I've started my study of I Peter and am happy to announce I've been able to make it through the first five verses! Ever since Steve taught us last week on studying the Bible inductively, I've felt convicted to understand the entire context, specific words used, patterns, reason for particular emphasis, and whatever else there is to know about the passage I'm studying, and it can be exhaustive, but I know after the study I do have a much deeper understanding and a firmer foundation. Anyway, already from the get-go of studying I Peter I was faced with questions I had had for a long time, and felt I should really look more into them and find out what I could, so my studies have been filled with finding answers or at least learning lessons God has wanted me to learn from the questions He's presented me with. I've already gotten a bit frustrated and stressed with the questions as they seem unanswerable, but as the days go by of me searching for answers in the Bible with friends, a peace slowly but surely has come over me, and I know it's from God.
God also has a way of presenting many possible answers to me, and I find it very humbling knowing that I can not understand everything. An example of this is when I felt like watching a video I had watched in the past of a sermon given by Rob Bell called "Everything is Spiritual" (I highly recommend it, whatever your opinion of Rob Bell may be, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2rklwkm_dQ). Half-way through the message, Rob presented the following scenario: Say there is a 2-dimensional world, and in this world there is a circle and a rectangle. The circle could never in it's wildest dreams be a rectangle and vice versa. Now let us say a 3-dimensional cylinder comes along into this 2-dimensional world. The cylinder can be viewed as both a circle (if it is viewed from top) and a rectangle (if from the side). So in this 2-dimensional world, if you were to ask if this cylinder were a rectangle or a circle, the answer would simply be, "Yes." Now bring this idea to our world. Change the circle and the rectangle to two completely opposing ideas in Christian theology, say for example free will and predestination (we'll just jump into the deep end of this pool). What if God, being outside of the dimension we live in, when asked about free will or predestination could simply say, "Yes"? More fruit for thought.
I know my studies from this point on will be difficult and at times quite frustrating, but I also know that it is what God has for me, and that He will bring the peace to me even if I don't find the answer to the countless questions I will gather. I'm excited for what God has to teach me, and I pray that I remain willing to be an eager student.
Imagine you are a missionary in Western Africa and have been serving to a tribe in a village for several months, when during one conversation with the chief, he makes it known to you that he wants to become a Christian. You get very excited that your work is finally beginning to produce fruits such as this, but you are reminded of one thing, one obstacle. The chief has three wives and has had children with each of them. You think back to your lessons taught at church about polygamy being a sin and are frantic to make a decision as to what on earth you should do. So, what do you do?
The above scenario was one of the case studies given to us this week by our speaker, Graeme Hackworth, from Australia. Graeme's story is that after being a science teacher for several years, he took part in a DTS in his early 30's, went on an outreach to India, and simply didn't come back for 20 years. There he met his wife, has had 3 kids, and lives in Australia currently. With 20 years spent on the mission field, Graeme had lots of experiences, stories, knowledge, and wisdom to share with us regarding cross-cultural ministry and missions. One style of teaching Graeme had with us was giving us real-life case studies that missionaries had faced on the mission field and asked us what we would do in the scenario, along with what the missionaries did and why they did it. I'm not going to tell you in this blog what the missionary did in the scenario I gave you, it is just there for you to think and dwell on. Things to keep in mind is what controversies would you face in doing certain actions, and which controversies affect the salvation of the people of the tribe as well as their potential relationship's with God? Fruit for thought.
I greatly appreciated how Graeme's teaching style and material he presented to us this week, because although this week was about missions and cross-cultural ministry, I found it still very applicable to someone like myself who is not feeling called to the mission fields in foreign countries. The concepts he taught and informed us of were ones that are not only true for foreign countries, but for our culture as well. Examples would be styles of worship, styles of fellowship, styles of church services, and so on and so forth. A statement we heard many times regarding these various styles was that they were "different, not one of them is better than the other, they're just different." Which spoke volumes to me. Another key concept Graeme taught was one that was taught by a previous speaker, John Ray (who I was not able to hear this from because of my pneumonia, thankfully some fellow students filled me in a bit on his teaching), and that was the idea that Christianity is not meant to be viewed as a box to live in. By this I mean that Christianity cannot be thought of as a simple set of rules or a simple prayer prayed, and people cannot be determined as Christian or non-Christian on the basis of this "box." Christianity is to be viewed as what direction you are going in life; whether you are walking towards Jesus or not. Now with this new definition, it becomes much more difficult to judge people as to whether or not they are Christ followers, and frankly I find that to be a good thing. God has told us not to judge, not only because we have no right to judge, but because we are simply not capable whatsoever of such a serious and difficult job.
Other thoughts and teachings I got from Graeme this week:
- Should we keep on asking God for blessings? Have we not been blessed enough with the country we live in, the family we have, the freedom we have? Maybe it's about time we start blessing God by using these blessings he gave us to bless others.
- Take time to understand the history of countries you go to or are helping take the gospel to so that you understand more of how to serve and share those people. Especially if those people are hostile towards Christianity, it is crucial to discover why that is.
- You are the only one who knows who, what, and if you are worshiping. This ties in with the statement about judgment.
One more thing we learned this week from Graeme this week is one that is too important to be a mere bullet point. It is the concept of going on the mission field to disciple people into being true Christians rather than merely going to the mission field to get people to conform to your personal Christian culture or make them pray the "Sinner's Prayer." This goes along with Christians being those walking towards Jesus rather than those living in the "box." Now, I don't want you to think that I'm contradicting myself by saying that by making the people disciples is the same as fitting them into the "box," because it is not. The simplest illustration I can give towards the purpose of making disciples is the whole idea of "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for the rest of his life." Making disciples is how you show the people what being a Christian is all about and continuing their teaching. If you look at the verse I posted at the top, I emphasized on the words "make disciples." Jesus commanded in the Great Commission not to simply "save" the people, but to disciple them as well. Now, the truth of the matter is, you will see a far fewer amount of people "discipled" on your mission trip than you would see people "saved" if you focused on saving people rather than making them disciples, but the Great Commission still stands, and for a good reason too. In the course of making disciples, you also will teach them that they are to make disciples as well, and who better to make disciples in a foreign country than a native? That person would see much more success than you, a foreigner, quite honestly.
In other news, I've started my study of I Peter and am happy to announce I've been able to make it through the first five verses! Ever since Steve taught us last week on studying the Bible inductively, I've felt convicted to understand the entire context, specific words used, patterns, reason for particular emphasis, and whatever else there is to know about the passage I'm studying, and it can be exhaustive, but I know after the study I do have a much deeper understanding and a firmer foundation. Anyway, already from the get-go of studying I Peter I was faced with questions I had had for a long time, and felt I should really look more into them and find out what I could, so my studies have been filled with finding answers or at least learning lessons God has wanted me to learn from the questions He's presented me with. I've already gotten a bit frustrated and stressed with the questions as they seem unanswerable, but as the days go by of me searching for answers in the Bible with friends, a peace slowly but surely has come over me, and I know it's from God.
God also has a way of presenting many possible answers to me, and I find it very humbling knowing that I can not understand everything. An example of this is when I felt like watching a video I had watched in the past of a sermon given by Rob Bell called "Everything is Spiritual" (I highly recommend it, whatever your opinion of Rob Bell may be, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2rklwkm_dQ). Half-way through the message, Rob presented the following scenario: Say there is a 2-dimensional world, and in this world there is a circle and a rectangle. The circle could never in it's wildest dreams be a rectangle and vice versa. Now let us say a 3-dimensional cylinder comes along into this 2-dimensional world. The cylinder can be viewed as both a circle (if it is viewed from top) and a rectangle (if from the side). So in this 2-dimensional world, if you were to ask if this cylinder were a rectangle or a circle, the answer would simply be, "Yes." Now bring this idea to our world. Change the circle and the rectangle to two completely opposing ideas in Christian theology, say for example free will and predestination (we'll just jump into the deep end of this pool). What if God, being outside of the dimension we live in, when asked about free will or predestination could simply say, "Yes"? More fruit for thought.
I know my studies from this point on will be difficult and at times quite frustrating, but I also know that it is what God has for me, and that He will bring the peace to me even if I don't find the answer to the countless questions I will gather. I'm excited for what God has to teach me, and I pray that I remain willing to be an eager student.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Week 9: Inductive Bible Study
"A voice says, 'Cry out.'
And I said, 'What shall I cry?'
'All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.'"
- Isaiah 40:6-8 (NIV)
"For he says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.' It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort,
but on God's mercy... "One of you will say to me: 'Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?' But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?"' Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?"
- Romans 9:15,16,19-21 (NIV) (emphasis mine)
I find it very interesting that a week with the teaching being one that is more-so academic than emotional can turn out to be a week that still has quite an emotional impact. I find it even more interesting that this emotional impact is one that is stronger than most of the others I've had during weeks that were actually centered around emotional topics. The best thing I can say about that is how one cannot attain knowledge of God and of His Word without being struck in the soul and heart with revelation; the more I learn about God the more I change. Sometimes (more times than not) however, this change is near impossible to notice and the change is not welcome, such was the case this week. I'll first give the academic portion of the week and then give the emotional impact.
Our speaker this week was a man by the name of Steve McCormick, and his topic was on Inductive Bible Study. I was extremely excited for this week as I have been growing more and more in love with reading the Bible and simply learning all there is to learn. Whether they be historical events, genealogies, poetry, or deep topics, I've been getting more and more excited about reading it all and discovering for myself (not by myself, assistance from the Holy Spirit is mandatory I've learned by now) what they mean and how that is supposed to change my life. Steve definitely supplied what I was looking for with much information and examples. He started by explaining what Inductive Bible Study even means. He contrasted it with deductive Bible study, which is one has a specific conclusion they want to reach, and they go to the Bible to find information that supports that conclusion, which can be very dangerous if not done correctly. Far too often people, myself included, will take verses out of context to support what they say, and the fact of the matter is that virtually any conclusion can be reached by taking verses out of context. Peter warns us of people who do that and what it can cause if we ourselves do it by first talking about Paul's letters:
"His [Paul's] letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do other Scriptures, to their own destruction."
- II Peter 3:16b (emphasis mine)
Now, I am not trying to say that deductive Bible study is a corrupt way of studying the Bible, so long as it is done in the correct way and within context. Now to define inductive Bible study; it is basically the opposite of deductive Bible study, so it is you reading the Bible and accumulating information, followed by making conclusions based off of what you just studied.
Steve also gave us examples of how he studies, and that is pretty much verse by verse, but before that, he acquires background knowledge of what he is reading. This background knowledge involves the culture, the author, the setting, and basically anything else that is relevant to the passage. The importance of this is that with background knowledge comes a deeper understanding and appreciation for the message being presented, and you feel like you have a new-found and deeper understanding of what was written. For even more background information, concordances are used to read and attempt to understand the original words used in the books of the Bible; some very interesting and cool discoveries have been made from this studying.
Steve then showed us how he will read small passages and draw observations and ask questions about things he read, very specific things, followed by attempting to answer those questions. He emphasized how it is more than alright to ask questions that you cannot answer at that time, because perhaps later on you will come upon some new information you've studied that can answer that question. He then said that after you make these observations of what the text literally says, he makes interpretations as to what it means. The final step then is finding out how to make what you studied applicable to your life. This part he told us time and time again is perhaps the most crucial because it is the point of the study. It is not mere knowledge that you are trying to achieve. You are trying to achieve a totally changed life from that knowledge. He gave the following passage to emphasize his point:
"You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life."
- John 5:39,40 (NIV)
John speaks of how the Scriptures all point to Jesus, yet we do not go to Jesus even though we study these very Scriptures. I found this lesson to be very applicable to my life and it has made me be very diligent on asking the Holy Spirit to anoint the time I spend studying the Bible and for Him to reveal to me what He has for me to learn. Now onto the emotional portion.
Last Friday, the 16th, I went with some others to help some local food banks receive financial and food donations, and on the way back we passed a hospital. For some reason, looking at that hospital got me thinking of how I had really wanted to be a doctor and was looking forward to pursuing it after YWAM, until God told me of his other plans for me to be a Pastor. I was filled with anger as I thought about the whole series of events that had caused this change, and I then did the thing that guarantees a bad time and started comparing my predicament to others'. I looked at some people whose desires matched those of God's and were able to pursue careers they really wanted to while still falling in line with the will of God, and I was livid at the apparent unfairness of the entire situation.
This past Monday, the 19th, we had our morning worship at 8:30, but for some reason I was really not in the mood and could not get myself to join in. I discovered I had been battling a change God was bringing to my life, a change that involved me letting go of the material things I had a bond to. For me, these material things involved video games, particular movies, particular TV shows, particular music, and various other habits I had. God had been bringing up this material issue to me within the past few days, it's hard for me to pinpoint when this conviction originated, and it had been eating at me more and more, which brought me to the Monday morning worship. I was angry again and felt defeated and stuck. God brought it to my attention just how strong this bond really was, and it was far stronger than I had thought. During the worship time I got my journal and wrote down all that was in my head. I ended the journal writing about how I needed a new heart of flesh because my current heart was one of stone. I truly felt that way, and I still do. I am praying continually for this new heart, because I can't live the rest of my life wrestling with these material desires.
Finally, on Wednesday, the 21st, we concluded our last class session with Steve by looking at the end of the book of John at the conversation between Jesus and Peter. Peter had denied Jesus three times earlier in the book, and now Jesus was asking Peter if he loved him three times. By looking at this conversation, you cannot really see the significance of what is being said, but by looking at the Greek words used originally, it becomes visible. Jesus asks Peter the first two times if he loved him in the sense of a self-sacrificial love ("agape" is the Greek word used), and Peter replies by saying he loves him in the sense of a brother or a friend ("phileo" is used here). On the third time, Jesus comes down to Peter's level and asks him if he even loves him as a friend (using "phileo"), where Peter replies that yes, he does love him that way. Jesus had been wanting Peter to love him and he loved Peter, but Peter was not at that level yet. The passage continues:
"'I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.' Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, 'Follow me!' Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them... When Peter saw him, he asked, 'Lord, what about him?' Jesus answered, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.'"
- John 21:18-20a,21,22 (NIV) (emphasis mine)
When Steve read this aloud in class, I was struck. I saw clear as day that this passage was about what I was doing. Jesus told Peter that as he grew older and more mature, he would be lead down a path he did not want to go and do things he didn't necessarily want to do. This is like me in how I'm being lead down a path I have not ever particularly desired to follow as God is maturing me more and more. Peter replies by comparing himself to others, specifically John. I did just this as well by looking at others who didn't have to change their particular career choice to follow God's will. Jesus then replies with pretty much a smack in the face to Peter asking, "What is that to you?" I take these words spoken by Jesus to be parallel with the passage I quoted in the beginning of this post from Romans, where we are the clay and God is the potter, and we have no right in questioning the potter as to what he is doing. From reading this passage I realized how similar Peter and I were, and I realized that by getting mad at God for the predicament he had been putting me in, I had not been self-sacrificially loving Him just as Peter said he wasn't as well. As you can see, God opened by eyes wide and showed me just what I had been doing. From this, I now feel convicted to inductively study the books of I and II Peter as well as other passages talking about Peter, just to see what he did with his life after this conversation with God to look for what I am to do as well. I'm quite excited about it, and I am also expecting to be enlightened and humbled in the process.
After the class on Wednesday we were dismissed for Thanksgiving break, which has been fantastic. I have yet to start my study of Peter, but I am looking forward to it, and I ask for prayer as I dive into it and wait on the Holy Spirit to teach me and give me a new heart so I may better serve and glorify Him.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Weeks 7 & 8: The Fear of the Lord and Transformation
"The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare."
- Psalm 25:14, 15 (NIV)
This week we were finally able to return to normalcy by spending it back in Arkansas at the base. For the past two weeks we had either been camping or traveling for hours on end, so being in a familiar place was much appreciated. Our topic for this week was on the Fear of the Lord and our speaker was a lady by the name of Dawn Borchers. Dawn was a lady in her 50's and single, and not the type of person I was expecting. I'm not sure what type of person I was expecting when I heard those things about her, but regardless I was pleasantly surprised to have her as our speaker. She was a strong speaker, very open and honest with her walk with God and how she'd changed and how she's still changing to this day. Furthermore, I was very excited for the topic she was going to be presenting as I had never had a firm understanding of what it meant to fear the Lord. I was hoping I would be able to really understand what it meant to do such a thing and what it would look like in my life as well, and I was not let down by Dawn.
The biggest thing I felt I learned from that week was the simple realization that fearing the Lord did not mean being afraid of Him. It wasn't even that difficult of a statement to establish either as it is quite blatantly expressed in the Bible:
"When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, 'Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.' Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be will you to keep you from sinning.'"
Exodus 20:18-20 (NIV)
This was taught to us on the first day, and I was already taken aback because I had always thought having fear of the Lord was, well, fearing Him. After hearing this I knew I was in for a treat the rest of the week as to figuring out what fearing the Lord was like, and it was a treat. Here is a list of some key things I learned this week:
- According to Psalm 25:14, we find that the Lord is intimate (confides, is a friend, counsels, trusts) with those who fear Him, and we know that while you can love literally anybody that you want, you cannot have an intimate relationship with anyone as that requires a mutual desire to do so.
- We have a hard time desiring this intimacy with God because with intimacy comes vulnerability and lots of trust, and especially with intimacy with God comes a lack of faith in results because of how He is not visible, and it also causes one to be afraid of losing control of our own life; a valid fear I have had to embrace in past weeks.
- Fearing the Lord means giving God his proper place by standing in awe, giving Him praise, honor, reverance, glory, and worship. Verses supporting this are Psalm 33:8, 22: 23, 89:6, 7, Malachi 2:5, and Revelation 15:4.
- Proverbs 9:10 shows how the fear of the Lord is wisdom; it is knowledge of the Holy One.
- We grow in the fear of the Lord by realizing that it is our choice, by being honest with God as to where we our, by simply asking Him for it, by being diligent and studying His word, and by dealing with sin in our lives.
- Dealing with sin involves confessing the sin, repenting from the sin, renouncing the sin, and by seeking restitution
I somewhat felt on a high all week as God revealed Himself to me more and more and let me experience Him more and more.
Friday night we had the very first annual YWAM Ozarks Talent Night, which was a good ol' time watching people make a fool of themselves and whatnot, but Friday had something else in store for me as well. Friday morning I had started to feel somewhat ill. I was starting to have a fever as well as a cough and a small headache. It wasn't very comfortable, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't function. Sleeping that evening however, was downright awful. I woke up perhaps at least every hour from either coughing so much or being blazing hot under my comforter. The next morning I felt far worse than the day before and didn't have much willpower to do anything really (the reason this blog is a week late!). That night was even worse than the one before, and the next one even more worse. Sunday I finally took my temperature and found out I had a temperature of 102.4 degrees; I wasn't just imagining this fever. By Monday morning I felt the worse I had ever from a lack of sleep, intense fever, headache, shortness of breath, coughing, and stomach pains - I was a mess.
That morning just so happened to be the same day that we were leaving to go on a camping/climbing trip for a few days with our speaker for the week, John Ray. I told staff I could not make it on the trip, at least not on the first day, for fear of what camping in the cold would do to my state of being, especially with the fever. They agreed with me and I stayed back. Later in the day I finally went to the doctor and found out my temperature had increased to 104 degrees and I was later diagnosed with Bacterial Pneumonia, I wasn't quite expecting that but I suppose it made sense with my shortness of breath and cough. They gave me a shot in my hip (I'm not sure why they say hip, they mean to say upper-buttocks I'm sure, because that's where I got my shot), gave me a couple prescriptions for the pneumonia and for sleeping at night, and told me to come back the next couple of days for more hip (butt) shots. Within an hour of my shot I felt my fever sweating away and energy flowing back into my body. The next day my temperature died down to 98.2 and I was feeling great. The next few days I continued to heal and on Wednesday evening, the rest of the school returned from camping/climbing and we were re-united. It had been an uneventful few days and I was glad to see activity back on the campus. Thursday morning I left with them to go to Fayetteville, about an hour or so north of Ozark and meet John Ray there. He gave us a lesson on Thursday, my first (and only, really) lesson from him throughout the week.
He talked to us about Transformation, and what that really means. He gave the illustration, that I really appreciated, that transformation was not supposed to be viewed as a bad person becoming good, but rather as a dead man becoming alive. He talked further about how transformation would change our sense of truth (becoming wise), goodness (becoming just), and beauty (becoming free). There was particular emphasis on the latter on how this would come from by practicing hospitality. I valued what he said and I was distraught that I was unable to benefit from his previous lessons.
That evening we went further north to Springdale and visited a youth group for primarily college students and took part in their service. We had worship followed by a couple of volunteers from our DTS giving their testimonies and how the DTS had been a part of that testimony. I was one of the volunteers. We were told to keep it short to five minutes, and I don't think I went on extremely long, but I know I went over five minutes. It wasn't because I didn't know what to say, rather I knew exactly what I wanted to say, it was that I simply enjoyed it quite a bit. I got up there and felt more comfortable than I had in the past when I'd spoken, and I had a good time. I hadn't intended to make people laugh, but it happened regardless, and I just went along with it. I knew that it was not because of me that I enjoyed it and I know it wasn't because of me that the people enjoyed it, I knew that it was totally the Holy Spirit, and I was quite alright with that. That night really helped me feel better about God's calling for me to be a Pastor, and I still get afraid of the thought of it, but I can see how God is slowly but surely molding me into that type of person, and I hope I embrace it and let Him mold me.
- Psalm 25:14, 15 (NIV)
This week we were finally able to return to normalcy by spending it back in Arkansas at the base. For the past two weeks we had either been camping or traveling for hours on end, so being in a familiar place was much appreciated. Our topic for this week was on the Fear of the Lord and our speaker was a lady by the name of Dawn Borchers. Dawn was a lady in her 50's and single, and not the type of person I was expecting. I'm not sure what type of person I was expecting when I heard those things about her, but regardless I was pleasantly surprised to have her as our speaker. She was a strong speaker, very open and honest with her walk with God and how she'd changed and how she's still changing to this day. Furthermore, I was very excited for the topic she was going to be presenting as I had never had a firm understanding of what it meant to fear the Lord. I was hoping I would be able to really understand what it meant to do such a thing and what it would look like in my life as well, and I was not let down by Dawn.
The biggest thing I felt I learned from that week was the simple realization that fearing the Lord did not mean being afraid of Him. It wasn't even that difficult of a statement to establish either as it is quite blatantly expressed in the Bible:
"When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, 'Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.' Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be will you to keep you from sinning.'"
Exodus 20:18-20 (NIV)
This was taught to us on the first day, and I was already taken aback because I had always thought having fear of the Lord was, well, fearing Him. After hearing this I knew I was in for a treat the rest of the week as to figuring out what fearing the Lord was like, and it was a treat. Here is a list of some key things I learned this week:
- According to Psalm 25:14, we find that the Lord is intimate (confides, is a friend, counsels, trusts) with those who fear Him, and we know that while you can love literally anybody that you want, you cannot have an intimate relationship with anyone as that requires a mutual desire to do so.
- We have a hard time desiring this intimacy with God because with intimacy comes vulnerability and lots of trust, and especially with intimacy with God comes a lack of faith in results because of how He is not visible, and it also causes one to be afraid of losing control of our own life; a valid fear I have had to embrace in past weeks.
- Fearing the Lord means giving God his proper place by standing in awe, giving Him praise, honor, reverance, glory, and worship. Verses supporting this are Psalm 33:8, 22: 23, 89:6, 7, Malachi 2:5, and Revelation 15:4.
- Proverbs 9:10 shows how the fear of the Lord is wisdom; it is knowledge of the Holy One.
- We grow in the fear of the Lord by realizing that it is our choice, by being honest with God as to where we our, by simply asking Him for it, by being diligent and studying His word, and by dealing with sin in our lives.
- Dealing with sin involves confessing the sin, repenting from the sin, renouncing the sin, and by seeking restitution
I somewhat felt on a high all week as God revealed Himself to me more and more and let me experience Him more and more.
Friday night we had the very first annual YWAM Ozarks Talent Night, which was a good ol' time watching people make a fool of themselves and whatnot, but Friday had something else in store for me as well. Friday morning I had started to feel somewhat ill. I was starting to have a fever as well as a cough and a small headache. It wasn't very comfortable, but it wasn't to the point where I couldn't function. Sleeping that evening however, was downright awful. I woke up perhaps at least every hour from either coughing so much or being blazing hot under my comforter. The next morning I felt far worse than the day before and didn't have much willpower to do anything really (the reason this blog is a week late!). That night was even worse than the one before, and the next one even more worse. Sunday I finally took my temperature and found out I had a temperature of 102.4 degrees; I wasn't just imagining this fever. By Monday morning I felt the worse I had ever from a lack of sleep, intense fever, headache, shortness of breath, coughing, and stomach pains - I was a mess.
That morning just so happened to be the same day that we were leaving to go on a camping/climbing trip for a few days with our speaker for the week, John Ray. I told staff I could not make it on the trip, at least not on the first day, for fear of what camping in the cold would do to my state of being, especially with the fever. They agreed with me and I stayed back. Later in the day I finally went to the doctor and found out my temperature had increased to 104 degrees and I was later diagnosed with Bacterial Pneumonia, I wasn't quite expecting that but I suppose it made sense with my shortness of breath and cough. They gave me a shot in my hip (I'm not sure why they say hip, they mean to say upper-buttocks I'm sure, because that's where I got my shot), gave me a couple prescriptions for the pneumonia and for sleeping at night, and told me to come back the next couple of days for more hip (butt) shots. Within an hour of my shot I felt my fever sweating away and energy flowing back into my body. The next day my temperature died down to 98.2 and I was feeling great. The next few days I continued to heal and on Wednesday evening, the rest of the school returned from camping/climbing and we were re-united. It had been an uneventful few days and I was glad to see activity back on the campus. Thursday morning I left with them to go to Fayetteville, about an hour or so north of Ozark and meet John Ray there. He gave us a lesson on Thursday, my first (and only, really) lesson from him throughout the week.
He talked to us about Transformation, and what that really means. He gave the illustration, that I really appreciated, that transformation was not supposed to be viewed as a bad person becoming good, but rather as a dead man becoming alive. He talked further about how transformation would change our sense of truth (becoming wise), goodness (becoming just), and beauty (becoming free). There was particular emphasis on the latter on how this would come from by practicing hospitality. I valued what he said and I was distraught that I was unable to benefit from his previous lessons.
That evening we went further north to Springdale and visited a youth group for primarily college students and took part in their service. We had worship followed by a couple of volunteers from our DTS giving their testimonies and how the DTS had been a part of that testimony. I was one of the volunteers. We were told to keep it short to five minutes, and I don't think I went on extremely long, but I know I went over five minutes. It wasn't because I didn't know what to say, rather I knew exactly what I wanted to say, it was that I simply enjoyed it quite a bit. I got up there and felt more comfortable than I had in the past when I'd spoken, and I had a good time. I hadn't intended to make people laugh, but it happened regardless, and I just went along with it. I knew that it was not because of me that I enjoyed it and I know it wasn't because of me that the people enjoyed it, I knew that it was totally the Holy Spirit, and I was quite alright with that. That night really helped me feel better about God's calling for me to be a Pastor, and I still get afraid of the thought of it, but I can see how God is slowly but surely molding me into that type of person, and I hope I embrace it and let Him mold me.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Week 6: Finish the Task
"And this gospel of the kingdom will be preadched in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come."
We got up at 4:45 in the morning, packed our stuff into the
trailer, squished into two 12-passenger vans and left our base in Ozark,
Arkansas. Our destination? Cincinnati, Ohio, 12 hours away. What was in Ohio? Finish
the Task Conference, A conference put on by YWAM centered on fulfilling The
Great Commission and how to go about doing that. With hundreds of students and
staff from about ten different YWAM bases across the nation, it was a good
time. The conference was held at White Oak Christian Church, with the different
bases staying in different locations. Most YWAM bases were staying on gym or
sanctuary floors in churches, while others were lucky enough to be able to stay
in some apartments owned by other churches; we were among the lucky ones. We
were spoiled with two rooms, each with four triple bunks and a living room for
sleeping in, along with a shower.
- Matthew 24:14 (NIV)
We got up at 4:45 in the morning, packed our stuff into the
trailer, squished into two 12-passenger vans and left our base in Ozark,
Arkansas. Our destination? Cincinnati, Ohio, 12 hours away. What was in Ohio? Finish
the Task Conference, A conference put on by YWAM centered on fulfilling The
Great Commission and how to go about doing that. With hundreds of students and
staff from about ten different YWAM bases across the nation, it was a good
time. The conference was held at White Oak Christian Church, with the different
bases staying in different locations. Most YWAM bases were staying on gym or
sanctuary floors in churches, while others were lucky enough to be able to stay
in some apartments owned by other churches; we were among the lucky ones. We
were spoiled with two rooms, each with four triple bunks and a living room for
sleeping in, along with a shower.
Our daily schedule would be getting up at 6:30, leave the
apartment at 7 to make it to breakfast at the church at 7:30. Our first meeting
was at 8:30 which consisted of worship (amazing worship I should add),
intercession of various kinds for different specific missions, and a teaching
by Dan Baumann. Dan is an author and missionary, most famous for his time in
Iran when he was imprisoned for 9 weeks, which was written about in his book, Imprisoned
in Iran. This would go until 12:30 when we would have lunch, followed by
either breakout sessions or a community outreach at 2:00. The breakout sessions
were hour-long classes where we were taught about various things pertaining to
missions, with two of these on Monday and two on Wednesday. The four that I
went to were about Church Planting Movements, Universalism, Muslim Culture, and
one was an open panel of missionaries that we were able to question and talk
with. On Tuesday during this time we had a time to just spend with our base and
process what we had been learning thus far, because by that time we had already
felt piled on with information. And on Thursday, we had Community Outreach. For
my specific outreach, I went with a group of people to a church and helped them
with what they needed. My specific job included picking up pieces of logs so
they could be cut, and using a chainsaw to slice up larger logs. This time went
on until dinner at 5:30, followed by our evening meeting at 7:00. The evening
meeting followed a similar itinerary as the morning meeting did, except with a
different speaker, this being Danny Lehmann, a well-known Christian author.
This evening meeting would go until 9:00-9:30, when we would return to the
apartment and go to bed. It was a packed schedule, but it was full of good
stuff, good fellowship, and good times.
It’s difficult to give a summary of what was taught to us
this week since we had several speakers going over many different topics, but
the best summary I could give would be sampling restating the title of the
conference. Finish the Task. There are so many people out there who have never
heard the gospel, either because their society prohibits it or because no
missionaries have made the effort to bring it to them. Either way, we need to
do something about it. This does not mean, however, that we are all to storm
the airports and head for the isolated, the hidden, the dangerous, and the
forsaken with no training, no knowledge of the area, and, perhaps worst of all,
no calling. The message definitely struck a few heart chords as I felt for
these people who had never had the privilege of knowing Jesus and having a
relationship with Him. I felt particularly stronger towards people in the Himalayas
after they showed us a video (shown here) of some of the unreached people
living up there. I’ve started to feel strongly that the people in the Himalayas
will be a part of my future, I’m not sure exactly how, but I know God will
show me. Other various things I learned are shown below:
- God is both task- and people-oriented
- The Great Commission is a command to be obeyed
- If you want to be fruitful, just stay connected to Jesus and the fruit will take care of itself. If you focus on being fruitful, however, you will not have much luck
- Our passion is not solely based on emotion, it is based on what Jesus did on the cross and who God is. Although our emotions may vary constantly, our passion should be continually growing
- We are to be like a thermostat, not a thermometer (change the people around you, don't be changed by them)
- When it comes to showing people Christ, it is better to win a friendship than win an argument
After the week spent in Cincinnati, we left Friday morning
for Manchester, Kentucky, the City of Hope. It received this title back in 2004. Before then, the town and surrounding county had been
controlled completely by drugs, particularly painkillers as it was called the “Painkiller
county of America.” The police were corrupt, officials were as well, and there
were dealers everywhere. One particular dealer was so successful that he would
make an average of $5 million a year. The average cost it would be for people
to live the drug lifestyle here in Manchester was $60,000+ a year, where the
average income was $12,000, so along with the drugs came stealing and even
killings. One person was dying a week because of drug-related problems.
Finally, people began to react and want to put a stop to it. So all the pastors
from the area met together and talked and prayed intensely about their town’s
situation, so they organized a march. Thousands of church-goers gathered and
marched for a mile and a half to the park to have a rally against the drug
problem in their town. The impact was tremendous. After that, arrests increased
by 300% and the amount of deaths related to drugs are virtually non-existent.
That march was 8 years ago, and the town of Manchester knows that it is still
not perfect and still has some giants to conquer, but they are a city of hope
and will be able to take on those giants with God’s help.
We visited this church and talked to some of the pastors
that were in charge of the march and rally and the passion they had for their
city was very apparent as they could not stop talking about the amazing things
God had being doing in their city and how much grace was given to them. They
told us about a Christian rehab center about 16 miles from the town that they
had started a while back called Chad’s Hope (shown below). This rehab wasn’t
for specifically men with drug problems or alcoholic problems or what have you,
but basically men with problems in general, problems that needed the grace of
God to be solved for good. The amazing thing about Chad’s Hope is that it
received $2.5 million from the government to be established. As far as I know,
it is the only totally Christian organization receiving any assistance from the
government; a true work of God. We visited Chad’s Hope and talked to and prayed
for the men currently taking part in the program. These men told us
heartbreaking stories, but really focused their testimonies on God making them
new men. Go God.
This week also gave an ample supply of confirmation towards
God wanting me to be a pastor. One thought that had been circling through my
head was how I have always thought of myself as a poor public speaker and poor
at explaining things. While my friends disagreed with me on that point, they
also pointed out that even if it were the case, that hadn’t stopped God from
appointing others who felt the same way. It’s how God rolls. One significant
experience I had this week happened during the last worship session of the
conference. I had been having a frustrating time throughout the week trying to
participate in worship. Throughout the whole DTS I had been able to worship
without problem of feeling like I was actually worshipping God, but for some
reason I hadn’t been feeling the fire inside of me strongly at all in the
beginning of the week. On Thursday morning I had finally realized I was letting
many distractions get to me and my mind was wondering a lot when I should have
been keeping my gaze focused on God, and I felt awful about it. I apologized to
God and asked for forgiveness repeatedly during the worship. That evening,
during the worship, I felt the fire come back and I couldn’t help but kneel
while worshipping. As I was kneeling, a random girl came up to me and started
praying for me, that I would be a powerful light for God and repeated the
phrase, “Forgiven, Mighty Warrior.” I knew she was talking about God forgiving
me for my lack of focus. She also told me how God had been telling her to pray
for me, and she said that if I start kneeling, then she’d start praying for me.
Sure enough, I started kneeling. After she had finished praying, one of the
students from my DTS prayed for me as well. She, too, prayed that I be a
powerful light and that I would be mighty. What’s more is that when I finally
got back to the base in Ozark, I had some mail from my mother, one piece of
which was from her bible study. This particular bible study was from the night
before I had heard the call from God, and the first thing it mentioned was how
God is raising “mighty warriors.” The redundancy of these words is not a
coincidence; I am fully aware and I love how God is making all of this known
to me.
There are many other instances that point towards me being a pastor in
the future, and it’s getting to the point now where I cannot deny God’s
participation in showing me what He has planned for me. No matter how scared I
may be and no matter how much I may not want it to happen I cannot ignore how
many signs God has given me, and I cannot help but get excited that He is
showing me my place in His kingdom and the mission He has given me to bring Him
glory wherever I go. I’m excited as I’m noticing these signs more and more and
I can’t wait for the next one to be brought to me. This life is an exciting
life, and I’m blessed by the grace of God to be able to live it.
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